Ok... This was a complete "ultah" experience for me..
I went to this movie "3 idiots" today; long after all the other idiots have seen it. Going to this movie was more for claiming a social "success" of having seen this movie rather than my desire to run and see an "excellent" movie
As soon as i went into the hall, i had a "havell's shock laga" experience. The screen and room were so small.... i was like "arey bhai, mein tho clinic all clear ad dekh ke, bade screen mein sab kuch dikhta hai soch ke aaya... ye kya hogaya.. isme kyaa dikhegaa.. chal phir bhi, dekhlethe kya hai ye movie mein"... The mininess continued as the "big cinemas janaganamana" was sung as if some body is shooting at you and you need to retaliate only after the song... it's still good coz i don't have to stand for long (sorry my dear patriots, i don't sing janaganamana at all times of the day)... At this point of time, i was wishing the mininess to continue and hoping for some hot chick in minis to sit next to me. Phew! The macroness started post that and sorry... don't ask me to narrate the macroness!! :(
It might sound stupid, but through out the movie i was trying to answer one question... what if balayya accepted to star in this instead of letting Amir khan take the fame...
Scene #1:
Arey bhai, college kaa pehla din tu gaya, senior ne bola pant uthhar nahi tho pissing kardoongaa, tho thu andar jaake circuit banathaa hai kya, circuit... dimag ka circuit short circuit ho gaya kya... aur woh senior kaunsa c!@#@$% hai... tereko nahi lagne wale jaga pe shock laga, tho thu sab bandh kar ke chup baithe gaa kyaa... arey bhai, hum bhi engineering kiya hai, hum bhi ragging mein baitha hai but aisa senior - junior jodi ko jindagi mein kabhi dekha ni... agar wohi chancholdas racholdas (jo bhi hai) ka jaga pe hamara veeravamsa seemadhipathi kodavalla reddy (balayya, called vsk henceforth) ho tha tho naa, kya karegaa maaloom, unka bag se ek bahuthi loooong saa swoord nikalke bolega "arey ooo, thu mere hostel aaya, mere wing pe aaya, mere floor pe aaya, mere room door pe sussu karne kaa sochaa, mere haath mein kya hai dekh, isse abhi tak sirf sar hi kaata (Ok, i stop there, let your imagination do the rest)
Scene #2:
Madhavan aayega hero ke paas aur bolega "arey yaar, mereko wild life photographer ban nekaa, but saala idhar wild life hai yi ni... kyaa karoon bey"... Amir khan kya bola movie mein "beta jaa, thu hungary gaa, brazil ka rainforest jaa, waha ghoomo, macchar se katao, mein tho mere kareena se shaadhi karke mazey karthaa hoon"... woh bhi koi dosthi hothi hai... wohi rancho ke jaga pey hamara vsk hotha tho kya kareegaa maloom... chal camera le.. mere saath aa, abhi waha pe woh porugoorupadu kamadhipathi reddy ko dekha kya, mein abhi isko hunt karoonga... thoo wahi time pe photo click kar naa... tiger, tiger maloom yenaa, uska photo aajathaa hai;
Aur uske bad mein woh gandha pani hai naa, waha pein roll roll karke unko marta hu.. tab aayegaa crocodile... crocodile maane water tiger soch le;
uske baad poora hunt hone ke baad mein aake ek "winning roar" dethaa huu.. wo kyaa hoga guess kar... guess kar naa
madhavan: hmmm... gadhe?
vsk: arey gadhe nahi... isko bolthe hai elephant... woh roar ko ghreenkaram bolte hai log
---------------------- Interval -------------------------
Friday, April 30, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Memoirs of memories....
It's good to have memories
memories of places
of gadgets and objects
for that matter, even that of cats and dogs
you can cherish them
dump them
recall n redump them
all at your own free will
But, none of these memories exist in isolation
They need a human touch to breathe life into them
you need people to spend great times at great places
please to laugh n cry; drink n dine...
it's the people that add meaning to the memory
And they add complexity too!
you can't dump them at will
They're subject to sensitivities n mood swings
you can't recall n redump them as u wish
Emotions could get hurt, hearts would get heavy
The pain's deep inside and more often invisible;
Distressed by this plilght
Good ol' memories would try in vain
to soothe the pain, bu to no avail
As time takes over
other people, other memories n other pains
follow suit
thus forming a vicious cycle in life's pursuit
memories of places
of gadgets and objects
for that matter, even that of cats and dogs
you can cherish them
dump them
recall n redump them
all at your own free will
But, none of these memories exist in isolation
They need a human touch to breathe life into them
you need people to spend great times at great places
please to laugh n cry; drink n dine...
it's the people that add meaning to the memory
And they add complexity too!
you can't dump them at will
They're subject to sensitivities n mood swings
you can't recall n redump them as u wish
Emotions could get hurt, hearts would get heavy
The pain's deep inside and more often invisible;
Distressed by this plilght
Good ol' memories would try in vain
to soothe the pain, bu to no avail
As time takes over
other people, other memories n other pains
follow suit
thus forming a vicious cycle in life's pursuit
Saturday, February 13, 2010
What happens when you crack a PJ on V-day
The PJ starts playing videos
Why? - because It becomes a VJ ;)
One more, One more...
What do you call the day when two valentines meet?
It's called a W-day
Why? - W is two V's side by side and deeply in love;
So V day is for lone valentines. For all the couples out there, start celebrating W-day;
Why? - because It becomes a VJ ;)
One more, One more...
What do you call the day when two valentines meet?
It's called a W-day
Why? - W is two V's side by side and deeply in love;
So V day is for lone valentines. For all the couples out there, start celebrating W-day;
Friday, February 12, 2010
V-day quotes
Random musings of a lone ("by choice") valentine....
"A rich pocket is one that's single and spends in singulars"
When St. valentine conducted marriages some hundred years back, he's revered and his b'day is celebrated. Today, when our "so called" saints do marriages on the same day to honor him, we say they are "bad and mad". how strange :S
"longest day of the year - June 21
shortest day of the year - December 20
costliest day of the year - feb 14"
"Do i need to be reminded of my "being a free soul" achievement once every year?"
"If i say dec.23rd has to be celebrated as V-day instead of feb.14th, would you support me?" (Question to those who are familiar with the terms IMT and puli maayya :P)
"A rich pocket is one that's single and spends in singulars"
When St. valentine conducted marriages some hundred years back, he's revered and his b'day is celebrated. Today, when our "so called" saints do marriages on the same day to honor him, we say they are "bad and mad". how strange :S
"longest day of the year - June 21
shortest day of the year - December 20
costliest day of the year - feb 14"
"Do i need to be reminded of my "being a free soul" achievement once every year?"
"If i say dec.23rd has to be celebrated as V-day instead of feb.14th, would you support me?" (Question to those who are familiar with the terms IMT and puli maayya :P)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Happiness
*Happiness is a multiple choice question.. with negative marking (And i chose not attempt that)*
Donno why... as soon as the above phrase struck my brain, it sent me into a hyper... so posting :)
Donno why... as soon as the above phrase struck my brain, it sent me into a hyper... so posting :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
The week that was...
The week that was... was so fcukin' awesome!!
It's like having a vivaha bhojanammbu after an amarana nirahara deeksha.. I mean that was the feeling after almost an year of utter choas, confusion whatever, whatever i was experiencing here...
Day 1:-
Flying at 35,000 feet in an indigo flight was an awesome experience for me. There were clouds above and below, the plane playing see-saw in mid air, pretending to nose dive into the arabian sea, it was crazily awesome. And it was much more awesome for my neighbour! No, it's not a hot chick who was mesmerized by my 7th pack. There was this nostalgic fellow who got a pack of gulab jamuns; he apparently doesn't know how to put them in the over head rack and ended up dropping all of them over his head.
Sweet experience that one!! ;)
Day 1 (late evening):- Came to chennai railway station presuming some train would be there to go to tirupathi (my goal for the day). Have to go back all the way to some other place and took a bus. After 5 hours of journey, was late by 5 mins and the gates to the seven hill god were closed. Slept in the bus for another 4 hours before my journey up. Felt like the homeless fellow whom cartman skates over in one of the south park episodes :P (For all the trouble i had, i completed my appointement with the seven hill god in a staggering, record smashing time of 4.52 mintues and got some extra laddus to eat.. so no complaints here)
Day 2:
Sort of a spiritual day with parents enjoying some pujas while me searching for godesses in a temple of gods (I know it's a sin, but... you won't understand le... leave it!). Post that, ate at this awesome place called saravana Bhavan (Suuuuuuper breakfasts), then slept really long long hours before i caught my bus-train to vijayawada
Day 3:
Spent meeting up old friend and few relatives. Made an impulse plan to go to bhimavaram (partly because of some relatives' insistence and mostly because of other reasons) went there.
Got bro's CBZ extreme; Went around here and there and while teaching car to one of my brother's heard a familiar sound of
dishhhhhhhh tuchhhuukkkk tapaaaa followed by yeyy, edava choosukokundaa enti aa driving
Broke the tail lamp of the car; This time my bro is the victim of my stupid direction :S
Day 4:
Back home. Eat, sleep, eat and then saw some 'supposedly funny' bendu apparao movie... decent timepass.. better than watching india at 53/5 on a flat track against the lankans. Met a few more friends and retired into the coziness of my bed for yet another 12 hour strech
Day 5:
Went to my hometown. As soon as i stepped on the land there was a strange sense of belonging to that place over the last 7 lifetimes. antha scene ledhu kaani, just felt good, anthe!
Then started the real fun. After some regulatory hi, how are you's the pekata rayudus' era has started. 10s of thousands of money is moving here and there in a scattered manner while expressions are varying from utter delight to complete dismay in a fraction of seconds. I was just watching all the drama wearing a card board that read "Good boy" in bold black. Every one had a comment for these good boys
"Hey you need your mom's permission to play cards"
"Oh.. you won't play cards, right? you are a good boy"
"Yea.. we are all a$$ h@#$@ and you are good boy.. come play"
these comments range from the mildest to the wildest... however some how, just some how with some sick stupid humor and few boobu kottu punugulu managed to get through that day
The ending of the day, however was awesome. There's this body (me) sleeping on a bed under the mango tree staring at the stars amidst the complete silence that was occasionally interrupted by the quarks of a frog. While i was just feeling that i had been staring at the sky for eternity, sleep took over
Day 6:
Started off with a "kousalya supraja rama" from a faraway temple. Then sun slowly sneaked through the leaves waking me up. After the usual chores, decided to become a bad boy. After anxiously waiting to try my luck in the game of hard luck (alias cards) and entered the arena with a corpus of 700 bucks. In 3 minutes i've lost 300 bucks. I got my math right pretty quickly and moved out of it thus saving 400 bucks and a life time of addiction and having lost my "good boy tag". 300 could buy quite some good things in life!!!
Thereafter, played a game of edupenkulaata ( a game where there are seven stones, 2 teams, one cricket ball, 3 nela baars, 3 bouncers and unlimited running and fun). Quite tired after a hard game, had lunch followed by a nap. Then came the moment of reckoning in the evening.
Went to a place that was full of chicks and chickens. There was this traditional kodi-pandem contest between our village and neighbouring village. Our village won 4-2 in a 6 game series and while this was happening i was busy checking out some chicks from our neighboring village. None from my village were good :(. Amongst the whole bunch, there was just one dove amongst a huge set of pegions and crows but my sensor was quick enough to catch and lock the view on that dove and guide my eyes wherever the dove flies. The dove as well managed to catch a glimpse at me, but whether that glimpse was that of irritation or admiration is something i failed to comprehend (Doesn't matter anyway). Ended the day with my routine star gazing sequence.
Day 7: coming soon
It's like having a vivaha bhojanammbu after an amarana nirahara deeksha.. I mean that was the feeling after almost an year of utter choas, confusion whatever, whatever i was experiencing here...
Day 1:-
Flying at 35,000 feet in an indigo flight was an awesome experience for me. There were clouds above and below, the plane playing see-saw in mid air, pretending to nose dive into the arabian sea, it was crazily awesome. And it was much more awesome for my neighbour! No, it's not a hot chick who was mesmerized by my 7th pack. There was this nostalgic fellow who got a pack of gulab jamuns; he apparently doesn't know how to put them in the over head rack and ended up dropping all of them over his head.
Sweet experience that one!! ;)
Day 1 (late evening):- Came to chennai railway station presuming some train would be there to go to tirupathi (my goal for the day). Have to go back all the way to some other place and took a bus. After 5 hours of journey, was late by 5 mins and the gates to the seven hill god were closed. Slept in the bus for another 4 hours before my journey up. Felt like the homeless fellow whom cartman skates over in one of the south park episodes :P (For all the trouble i had, i completed my appointement with the seven hill god in a staggering, record smashing time of 4.52 mintues and got some extra laddus to eat.. so no complaints here)
Day 2:
Sort of a spiritual day with parents enjoying some pujas while me searching for godesses in a temple of gods (I know it's a sin, but... you won't understand le... leave it!). Post that, ate at this awesome place called saravana Bhavan (Suuuuuuper breakfasts), then slept really long long hours before i caught my bus-train to vijayawada
Day 3:
Spent meeting up old friend and few relatives. Made an impulse plan to go to bhimavaram (partly because of some relatives' insistence and mostly because of other reasons) went there.
Got bro's CBZ extreme; Went around here and there and while teaching car to one of my brother's heard a familiar sound of
dishhhhhhhh tuchhhuukkkk tapaaaa followed by yeyy, edava choosukokundaa enti aa driving
Broke the tail lamp of the car; This time my bro is the victim of my stupid direction :S
Day 4:
Back home. Eat, sleep, eat and then saw some 'supposedly funny' bendu apparao movie... decent timepass.. better than watching india at 53/5 on a flat track against the lankans. Met a few more friends and retired into the coziness of my bed for yet another 12 hour strech
Day 5:
Went to my hometown. As soon as i stepped on the land there was a strange sense of belonging to that place over the last 7 lifetimes. antha scene ledhu kaani, just felt good, anthe!
Then started the real fun. After some regulatory hi, how are you's the pekata rayudus' era has started. 10s of thousands of money is moving here and there in a scattered manner while expressions are varying from utter delight to complete dismay in a fraction of seconds. I was just watching all the drama wearing a card board that read "Good boy" in bold black. Every one had a comment for these good boys
"Hey you need your mom's permission to play cards"
"Oh.. you won't play cards, right? you are a good boy"
"Yea.. we are all a$$ h@#$@ and you are good boy.. come play"
these comments range from the mildest to the wildest... however some how, just some how with some sick stupid humor and few boobu kottu punugulu managed to get through that day
The ending of the day, however was awesome. There's this body (me) sleeping on a bed under the mango tree staring at the stars amidst the complete silence that was occasionally interrupted by the quarks of a frog. While i was just feeling that i had been staring at the sky for eternity, sleep took over
Day 6:
Started off with a "kousalya supraja rama" from a faraway temple. Then sun slowly sneaked through the leaves waking me up. After the usual chores, decided to become a bad boy. After anxiously waiting to try my luck in the game of hard luck (alias cards) and entered the arena with a corpus of 700 bucks. In 3 minutes i've lost 300 bucks. I got my math right pretty quickly and moved out of it thus saving 400 bucks and a life time of addiction and having lost my "good boy tag". 300 could buy quite some good things in life!!!
Thereafter, played a game of edupenkulaata ( a game where there are seven stones, 2 teams, one cricket ball, 3 nela baars, 3 bouncers and unlimited running and fun). Quite tired after a hard game, had lunch followed by a nap. Then came the moment of reckoning in the evening.
Went to a place that was full of chicks and chickens. There was this traditional kodi-pandem contest between our village and neighbouring village. Our village won 4-2 in a 6 game series and while this was happening i was busy checking out some chicks from our neighboring village. None from my village were good :(. Amongst the whole bunch, there was just one dove amongst a huge set of pegions and crows but my sensor was quick enough to catch and lock the view on that dove and guide my eyes wherever the dove flies. The dove as well managed to catch a glimpse at me, but whether that glimpse was that of irritation or admiration is something i failed to comprehend (Doesn't matter anyway). Ended the day with my routine star gazing sequence.
Day 7: coming soon
Friday, December 18, 2009
Left lane begging
As usual.. something stupid... read on if you are a stupid!! :P
There has been a radical shift the way beggers choose their target audience. Until a month back, it was the right lane people (Ones sitting in cars, autos) that they used to focus on! Very recently, they have shifted to left-lane audience (Drivers of heavy motor vehicles alias lorries). I was so confused and the waiting is so long i started to think of potential reasons for the strategy shift!!
a) The car/auto fellas are feeding this community for too long and out of their "beggar budget"
b) The lorry driver's one rupee has a more emotional-rupee effect than a car owner's one-rupee
c) All beggars suddenly tried to enter the previously ignored niche market of lorry drivers creating a "nishe-urpulus"
There has been a radical shift the way beggers choose their target audience. Until a month back, it was the right lane people (Ones sitting in cars, autos) that they used to focus on! Very recently, they have shifted to left-lane audience (Drivers of heavy motor vehicles alias lorries). I was so confused and the waiting is so long i started to think of potential reasons for the strategy shift!!
a) The car/auto fellas are feeding this community for too long and out of their "beggar budget"
b) The lorry driver's one rupee has a more emotional-rupee effect than a car owner's one-rupee
c) All beggars suddenly tried to enter the previously ignored niche market of lorry drivers creating a "nishe-urpulus"
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
4 P's of arranged marriage :P
A degree in MBA has taught many things and one among them is the ability to market each and every thing.. Let's see how this fits into the marrriage markets for an indian bride.
The 4P's of arranged marriage:-
Person - Bride's dad comes and says "See this photo, his name is J K V R S V Kumar. You will be marrying him on 23rd december. Period"
Place - He lives in Chicago, some downtown/uphill something... but Chicago is the place
Post - Also, he's a senior technical lead in a big MNC
Package - earning 12 laksh per annum.
The question here is which P is she marrying... that JKVRSV idiot, or some unknown place of chicago, or his stupid 12hr sloggin post or his 12 lakh money... Marketing experts says, you can't treat each of the P's in isolation. Only when you integrate them, you can have a good brand
The 4P's of love marriage:-
Purse - Honey, i want to go to Taj for dinner today
Personality - Hey, your masculine look is awesome yaa
patience - Sweetheart, why don't you just wait for me while i buy a hanki.. i won't take more than 3 hrs
Popularity - Hey, you know what. My guy is this, my guy is that, he's so kewly awesome
Now, these are a different set of P's. You have to see them in isolation to understand the brand.. Good money, nice time spent, nice image with friends, all's good when you see them in isolation. When you try to integrate all the above P's, all you see is a "why did i every fall for her" guy who don't know the purpose of this existence....
That's not all... There's one more P here who is
Picchekkina (maddened)
Pani leni (work less)
paatu leni (sense less)
Puneet (Me)
:P
The 4P's of arranged marriage:-
Person - Bride's dad comes and says "See this photo, his name is J K V R S V Kumar. You will be marrying him on 23rd december. Period"
Place - He lives in Chicago, some downtown/uphill something... but Chicago is the place
Post - Also, he's a senior technical lead in a big MNC
Package - earning 12 laksh per annum.
The question here is which P is she marrying... that JKVRSV idiot, or some unknown place of chicago, or his stupid 12hr sloggin post or his 12 lakh money... Marketing experts says, you can't treat each of the P's in isolation. Only when you integrate them, you can have a good brand
The 4P's of love marriage:-
Purse - Honey, i want to go to Taj for dinner today
Personality - Hey, your masculine look is awesome yaa
patience - Sweetheart, why don't you just wait for me while i buy a hanki.. i won't take more than 3 hrs
Popularity - Hey, you know what. My guy is this, my guy is that, he's so kewly awesome
Now, these are a different set of P's. You have to see them in isolation to understand the brand.. Good money, nice time spent, nice image with friends, all's good when you see them in isolation. When you try to integrate all the above P's, all you see is a "why did i every fall for her" guy who don't know the purpose of this existence....
That's not all... There's one more P here who is
Picchekkina (maddened)
Pani leni (work less)
paatu leni (sense less)
Puneet (Me)
:P
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Art of cribbing
You crib
He cribs
She cribs
They crib
We all crib.. It's become an integral part of our work lives.
They say it's bad, it creates negativity, it hampers creativity, it makes you feel bad etc., etc., and etc., SCREW THEM!! I repeat, SCREW THEM!!
Find below the list of amazing things that cribbing can do:-
a) It gives you that feeling of a complete work day (A day without cribbing is a work day lost)
b) At its peak, it gives that kind of adrenalin rush that only scotch and s** can give
c) You always have a better story to tell than your co-cribber (It feels good being better than your peers... at least here)
d) You go back feeling relieved and with a feeling of acheving something
e) When you quit.. the only thing you miss would be the "crib sessions"
So... when you are in a job, CRIB, CRIB and CRIB.. That's the only way to be HAPPY :D
Dedicating this to my co-cribbers........
- An eternal Cribber
He cribs
She cribs
They crib
We all crib.. It's become an integral part of our work lives.
They say it's bad, it creates negativity, it hampers creativity, it makes you feel bad etc., etc., and etc., SCREW THEM!! I repeat, SCREW THEM!!
Find below the list of amazing things that cribbing can do:-
a) It gives you that feeling of a complete work day (A day without cribbing is a work day lost)
b) At its peak, it gives that kind of adrenalin rush that only scotch and s** can give
c) You always have a better story to tell than your co-cribber (It feels good being better than your peers... at least here)
d) You go back feeling relieved and with a feeling of acheving something
e) When you quit.. the only thing you miss would be the "crib sessions"
So... when you are in a job, CRIB, CRIB and CRIB.. That's the only way to be HAPPY :D
Dedicating this to my co-cribbers........
- An eternal Cribber
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Airtel *Connecting people* presents --- The "i'm feeling pretty emabarrased... but" moments----
Moment 1:
Me: hmmm.... (rubbing my head)..well, i'm feeling pretty emabarassed to ask you this. But i'm waiting for my girl and my mobile is out of charge. Would you mind if i borrow your mobile and tell her that i'm waiting at this place
Girl1: yaa.. sure, not a problem
(Pick her phone, ring a number and the phone rings in my pocket)
Me: Okaay.. Now that i have your number, how do you want me to save it :)
Moment 2:
bell of the neighbour's house rings
A beautiful girl attends the bell
Me: Hi.. i live next doors... well, you know.. i'm feeling pretty emabarassed to ask this, but i mis placed my mobile somewhere and am unable to locate it. So if you could gimme a call on my mobile, i can start the search.
She: Ok.. and she dials my number
Me: (After a brief search) yaa.. got it.. thanks. As a return to your favor, In case you are searching for something/some one and you haven't found yet, you always have my mobile and my door bell. I'll be waiting for the cring crings :P
Moment 3:
I meet this girl in the lift who lives in my floor. As she was about to enter into her house.. I stopped her saying
Me: "Hey.. you live in this house?" wait wait.. i just got a call from your room mate saying that she was trying to call you but you're not reachable. With a sarcastic smile i continued.. Apparently she had some important work and she asked me to tell you to come an hour late to home today.
She: why?
Me: How am I supposed to know.. i know it's a pretty emabarassing situation for you, but why don't you just spend some time at my home till your roomie completes that important work and you can go back after an hour.
She:Ok
we both go in and started talking about various things and in the middle of the discussions, i ask this question
Me: "You stay alone or with room mates?"
Moment 4:
Me: Hey.. You know what.. I've got this new awesome "magic phone"
She: What was that
Me: It's got some super kewl sensor that detects the beauty of the caller and the phone rings only if the caller is beautiful
She: Shut up.. Impossible
Me: You bet! Wanna try? Dial 9867531421 and see for yourself...
She: Really? Let's see... she dials and the phone rings..
She: So
Me: So what.. you're beautiful and hence it rang.. simple!!
I got her number.. I'm happy!
She thinks she's beautiful.. She's happy
---------------
You guys got some meaningless timepass.. you're happy!! ;)
Me: hmmm.... (rubbing my head)..well, i'm feeling pretty emabarassed to ask you this. But i'm waiting for my girl and my mobile is out of charge. Would you mind if i borrow your mobile and tell her that i'm waiting at this place
Girl1: yaa.. sure, not a problem
(Pick her phone, ring a number and the phone rings in my pocket)
Me: Okaay.. Now that i have your number, how do you want me to save it :)
Moment 2:
A beautiful girl attends the bell
Me: Hi.. i live next doors... well, you know.. i'm feeling pretty emabarassed to ask this, but i mis placed my mobile somewhere and am unable to locate it. So if you could gimme a call on my mobile, i can start the search.
She: Ok.. and she dials my number
Me: (After a brief search) yaa.. got it.. thanks. As a return to your favor, In case you are searching for something/some one and you haven't found yet, you always have my mobile and my door bell. I'll be waiting for the cring crings :P
Moment 3:
I meet this girl in the lift who lives in my floor. As she was about to enter into her house.. I stopped her saying
Me: "Hey.. you live in this house?" wait wait.. i just got a call from your room mate saying that she was trying to call you but you're not reachable. With a sarcastic smile i continued.. Apparently she had some important work and she asked me to tell you to come an hour late to home today.
She:
Me: How am I supposed to know.. i know it's a pretty emabarassing situation for you, but why don't you just spend some time at my home till your roomie completes that important work and you can go back after an hour.
She:
we both go in and started talking about various things and in the middle of the discussions, i ask this question
Me: "You stay alone or with room mates?"
Moment 4:
Me: Hey.. You know what.. I've got this new awesome "magic phone"
She: What was that
Me: It's got some super kewl sensor that detects the beauty of the caller and the phone rings only if the caller is beautiful
She: Shut up.. Impossible
Me: You bet! Wanna try? Dial 9867531421 and see for yourself...
She: Really? Let's see... she dials and the phone rings..
She: So
Me: So what.. you're beautiful and hence it rang.. simple!!
I got her number.. I'm happy!
She thinks she's beautiful.. She's happy
---------------
You guys got some meaningless timepass.. you're happy!! ;)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sri Krishna Leelamrutham
I switch on the TV and this new Bhakthi channel had this blue guy dressed up in Peacock feathers, with a flute in his hand saying “Each individual has to pay for his mistakes”. Apparently, this guy is called Mr. Sri Krishna and he’s been watching every one of us for the past 10000 odd years, his only task being to ensure that each one pays for his mistakes. He’s heard to have given people extra lives so that if he somehow missed one in this life, he would ensure they paid back in their next life
When the first time I heard of this I was like shit scared. ICICI collection agents were much better man. They had Supreme Court overseeing them. But this guy, Oh my god! He’s this omnipotent, omniscient, unaccountable force. I started to recount all the sins I’ve committed when nobody’s around. While I was committing each one these, whether it be stealing a snack from the road side shop, copying in the exam, winking at the girl in white, I always doubly checked my surroundings to ensure that no such Sri Krishna was watching me committing these sins. How am I supposed to know that this blue colored guy who is always visible in TV and on walls of houses roams around with an invisible paint and he’s at one hundred thousand different places at the same time? The whole idea sounded like a fiction movie but my grand-mother told this whole thing while I was a kid and I never knew this guy is for real until I faced him recently, in fact just yesterday.
I was coming back late at 4AM from office in an auto and while I was trying to stay awake just to ensure that the auto guy doesn’t kidnap me or take a roundabout route to steal that extra buck from me, I felt a quick bump on my left and there he is. There he is the blue guy with his trademark peacock feathers and flute. As I was still trying to decipher if it was a hallucination, he gave me a slap on my forehead and started to converse with me. I quickly recalled his familiar face and I know whom I’m with.
Note: I wish he’d converse with me in English so as to cater to universal audience, but he knew he’d be better off with me in Telugu and hence the following conversation ensued.SK hereon means Sri Krishna and Me would be Yours truly.
SK: Orey donga naa kodaka… Choosthunna choostunna anni choosthunna
Me: Nenaa… nenemi chesaanu
SK: Nee ayya! Emi teleenattu emi natisthaavuraa… nee girl friends daggara aadu ee naatakaalu, naa daggara kaadhu.. nene natakala rayudini ante nannu minchesaavu kadhaa raa nuvvu… naa daggare jeevisthunnavu
Me: (Ayya! Eediki anni telusemo) Kaadhu nijamgaa emi chesaanu nenu (Manasulo recounting all sins)
SK: Orey Picchaa… chee boothulu teppisthunnavu kadhaa raa… nuvvu chesinaa papalu list ni oka excel lo tayaru chesthe adhi open chesinappudalla naa system hang ye… Inka aagithe vere panulu kooda jaragavani nee bharatham padataaniki night shift lo maree bayalderaanu
Me: (Wow! I got a business opportunity) you know what, Mr. Sri Krishna. You can actually outsource this activity to us. We do data analytics to many of the top companies and I’m sure you’d feel relieved of your pressure if you bank on us
SK: (Okka kshanam alochinchi) Nee ayya! Tantaanu raa ninnu… Ninnu tannataanikosthe naatho business mattadathaavuraa… Mattadakaa… Moosey… Next 5 minutes assala mattadaka.. cheppindhi cheppinattu moosukuni inu
Me: Alaage
SK: Muuyyy! Muyyy annanaa
Me: (silent)
SK: (Pulling out his laptop from thin air through some spell).
Me: (Oh fish! Intel G12 processor, 16ZB hard disk, 24TB RAM, this guy is 100 years ahead of us…. Dumbstruck)
SK: (He opens up \\Desktop\Puneet Sins1.xls and boy oh boy, he told the truth; It took a mammoth effort to open the list of all the sins and there it is. Two Lack Twenty Four Thousand five hundred and fifty six, growing at 14.6% even at the time of recession).
Me: Oye… Anyayam idhi.. Kaneesam 23 years kooda levu, intha pedda list aa…. Dobbicchuko, naaku teleedhu
SK: Muyyamannappudu muyy… lekapothe tosesthaa auto lonchi; idhi only part 1; ilanti charithralu manaki moodu vunnayi… Entha pedda customer vi raa baabu nuvvu naaku
Me: Mari antha pedda account unna cusomter ni kadhaa.. mundu discount adhi mattakunte pothandemo
SK: Thuuuu Thuuu nee… aaapu
SK: Aaru yellu, six years, Che saal; vere baashalu neeku raavu kaani; Arey naaku ardham kaaka aduguthaanu okkati cheppara… Aravai debbai ellu vacchina musalollu kooda edho pani chesthaaru kadha raa… Tippi Tippi kodithe Iravai ellu levu, aaru ellu assala emi cheyyakundaa khaalee gaa elaa koorchunnavuraa
Me: Ante appudappudu age of empires, counter strike, football avi ivi aada gaa. Madhyalo gali tirugudulu avi ivi evoti vunnayi..
SK: Naaku kathalu cheppakurarei… aatiki kooda baddakemeraa neeku… assalu elaa raa baabu.. alochistene naa burra chedipothondhi
Me: Ante SK, naatho oka nela vunte nerpistha… mastuntadhi life.. neeku ardham kavatle.. alaa podukuni dreamland lo kellli or ceiling nunchi raaluthunna sunnanni choosthoo, alaa aa ooge chettulu, dikkulu choosthunna kaaki, puncture padina tyre.. ivanni emi andaalule asala.. abbabbabbaa swargam kanipistaddanuko
SK: nijamaaraa
Me: Nijamaa naa, nuvvante ee papa paritoshikaalatho busy gaa vundi life ni miss authunnavu kaani.. choopisthaa dhaa… .naatho paatu oka nela koorcho neeku life ante ento choopisthaa
SK: vedhava veshaalu naa daggara eyyake.. inkaa ekkuva sepunte nannu dobbichedattunnavu kaani, nee ayya nee punishment list idhigo, nenu velthunna.. nenemi vinaledhu, nuvvemi cheppaledhu… haaam bheem phatt… ammo ammo!! Nanne marchesedattunav kadha raa ekkuvasepu ikkadunte… idhigoo list… nee edupedho nuvve eduvu.. nenu matram inko saari nee daggaraki raanu raa baabu
And the list reads:
- Slog 20 hours in the office
- Go and work on weekends
- Crib, crib and crib; The more you crib, the more you’ll have to crib
- You’ll gain additional weight
- No girl returns your stare
- You’ll get everybody’s sympathy you never wanted
- You’re salary will always be less than actual due to some issue
- You won’t get a leave to go home and bask in the ‘old style’ glory
- No TV to watch T20 and footie matches
- No intent to play computer games
- No time to sit and stare at ceilings
- No more 8 hour sleeps
I reached home just as I finished reading the list, paid the auto wala double the money as I was still reeling from the multiple shocks just encountered and sunk my head deep into the pillow.
When the first time I heard of this I was like shit scared. ICICI collection agents were much better man. They had Supreme Court overseeing them. But this guy, Oh my god! He’s this omnipotent, omniscient, unaccountable force. I started to recount all the sins I’ve committed when nobody’s around. While I was committing each one these, whether it be stealing a snack from the road side shop, copying in the exam, winking at the girl in white, I always doubly checked my surroundings to ensure that no such Sri Krishna was watching me committing these sins. How am I supposed to know that this blue colored guy who is always visible in TV and on walls of houses roams around with an invisible paint and he’s at one hundred thousand different places at the same time? The whole idea sounded like a fiction movie but my grand-mother told this whole thing while I was a kid and I never knew this guy is for real until I faced him recently, in fact just yesterday.
I was coming back late at 4AM from office in an auto and while I was trying to stay awake just to ensure that the auto guy doesn’t kidnap me or take a roundabout route to steal that extra buck from me, I felt a quick bump on my left and there he is. There he is the blue guy with his trademark peacock feathers and flute. As I was still trying to decipher if it was a hallucination, he gave me a slap on my forehead and started to converse with me. I quickly recalled his familiar face and I know whom I’m with.
Note: I wish he’d converse with me in English so as to cater to universal audience, but he knew he’d be better off with me in Telugu and hence the following conversation ensued.SK hereon means Sri Krishna and Me would be Yours truly.
SK: Orey donga naa kodaka… Choosthunna choostunna anni choosthunna
Me: Nenaa… nenemi chesaanu
SK: Nee ayya! Emi teleenattu emi natisthaavuraa… nee girl friends daggara aadu ee naatakaalu, naa daggara kaadhu.. nene natakala rayudini ante nannu minchesaavu kadhaa raa nuvvu… naa daggare jeevisthunnavu
Me: (Ayya! Eediki anni telusemo) Kaadhu nijamgaa emi chesaanu nenu (Manasulo recounting all sins)
SK: Orey Picchaa… chee boothulu teppisthunnavu kadhaa raa… nuvvu chesinaa papalu list ni oka excel lo tayaru chesthe adhi open chesinappudalla naa system hang ye… Inka aagithe vere panulu kooda jaragavani nee bharatham padataaniki night shift lo maree bayalderaanu
Me: (Wow! I got a business opportunity) you know what, Mr. Sri Krishna. You can actually outsource this activity to us. We do data analytics to many of the top companies and I’m sure you’d feel relieved of your pressure if you bank on us
SK: (Okka kshanam alochinchi) Nee ayya! Tantaanu raa ninnu… Ninnu tannataanikosthe naatho business mattadathaavuraa… Mattadakaa… Moosey… Next 5 minutes assala mattadaka.. cheppindhi cheppinattu moosukuni inu
Me: Alaage
SK: Muuyyy! Muyyy annanaa
Me: (silent)
SK: (Pulling out his laptop from thin air through some spell).
Me: (Oh fish! Intel G12 processor, 16ZB hard disk, 24TB RAM, this guy is 100 years ahead of us…. Dumbstruck)
SK: (He opens up \\Desktop\Puneet Sins1.xls and boy oh boy, he told the truth; It took a mammoth effort to open the list of all the sins and there it is. Two Lack Twenty Four Thousand five hundred and fifty six, growing at 14.6% even at the time of recession).
Me: Oye… Anyayam idhi.. Kaneesam 23 years kooda levu, intha pedda list aa…. Dobbicchuko, naaku teleedhu
SK: Muyyamannappudu muyy… lekapothe tosesthaa auto lonchi; idhi only part 1; ilanti charithralu manaki moodu vunnayi… Entha pedda customer vi raa baabu nuvvu naaku
Me: Mari antha pedda account unna cusomter ni kadhaa.. mundu discount adhi mattakunte pothandemo
SK: Thuuuu Thuuu nee… aaapu
SK: Aaru yellu, six years, Che saal; vere baashalu neeku raavu kaani; Arey naaku ardham kaaka aduguthaanu okkati cheppara… Aravai debbai ellu vacchina musalollu kooda edho pani chesthaaru kadha raa… Tippi Tippi kodithe Iravai ellu levu, aaru ellu assala emi cheyyakundaa khaalee gaa elaa koorchunnavuraa
Me: Ante appudappudu age of empires, counter strike, football avi ivi aada gaa. Madhyalo gali tirugudulu avi ivi evoti vunnayi..
SK: Naaku kathalu cheppakurarei… aatiki kooda baddakemeraa neeku… assalu elaa raa baabu.. alochistene naa burra chedipothondhi
Me: Ante SK, naatho oka nela vunte nerpistha… mastuntadhi life.. neeku ardham kavatle.. alaa podukuni dreamland lo kellli or ceiling nunchi raaluthunna sunnanni choosthoo, alaa aa ooge chettulu, dikkulu choosthunna kaaki, puncture padina tyre.. ivanni emi andaalule asala.. abbabbabbaa swargam kanipistaddanuko
SK: nijamaaraa
Me: Nijamaa naa, nuvvante ee papa paritoshikaalatho busy gaa vundi life ni miss authunnavu kaani.. choopisthaa dhaa… .naatho paatu oka nela koorcho neeku life ante ento choopisthaa
SK: vedhava veshaalu naa daggara eyyake.. inkaa ekkuva sepunte nannu dobbichedattunnavu kaani, nee ayya nee punishment list idhigo, nenu velthunna.. nenemi vinaledhu, nuvvemi cheppaledhu… haaam bheem phatt… ammo ammo!! Nanne marchesedattunav kadha raa ekkuvasepu ikkadunte… idhigoo list… nee edupedho nuvve eduvu.. nenu matram inko saari nee daggaraki raanu raa baabu
And the list reads:
- Slog 20 hours in the office
- Go and work on weekends
- Crib, crib and crib; The more you crib, the more you’ll have to crib
- You’ll gain additional weight
- No girl returns your stare
- You’ll get everybody’s sympathy you never wanted
- You’re salary will always be less than actual due to some issue
- You won’t get a leave to go home and bask in the ‘old style’ glory
- No TV to watch T20 and footie matches
- No intent to play computer games
- No time to sit and stare at ceilings
- No more 8 hour sleeps
I reached home just as I finished reading the list, paid the auto wala double the money as I was still reeling from the multiple shocks just encountered and sunk my head deep into the pillow.
Friday, March 27, 2009
I M B A
I MBA or I'M BA??
I frankly don't find a difference between these two statements. I've Spent the last 2 years in transforming myself from the latter (B-Tech though) to the former (MBA). But what i did and what i learnt was nothing more than enjoying an extended break of 2 more years.
The other day one of my friends called me up and asked "Dude... My prof in TIME says we need to slog our asses off and study like 1000 pages a day. How do you manage". I was like "1000 pages? Yaa.. some times even 2000 you know, you need to learn better time management and speed reading is very crucial. You know what, sometimes you have to stay awake for 3-4 days in a row to finish off the projects and presenatations. The expectations are very high and the competetion is intense. You can't afford to be complacent, ever." The other side of the line remained in pertrified silence as the dude on line stood expressionless fearing what would happen to him once he joins the M.B.A cadre.
For once, just for once, strictly between you and me let's speak the facts and let's illustrate them with an example.
There is something called a colored drink and there's something called a coke. Even though they taste the same, "the coke" costs 5 times more and sells 5 million times more. Now if you consider coke as a brand and map it on the keller's perceptual brand conciousness map you can find the emotional attributes are maked to the top right quadrant while the percieved goodwill occupies the top left quadrant. If you perform a guassian relation analysis on that you'll find that percieved value of taste is far surpassed by the brand imagery which further indicates a higher aspirational quotient for the soft drink category.
Now, I never understood that sentence and would never believe a person who claims to have understood such a sentence. But we MBA's proudly say that's what we feel are the reasons behind coke's success and repeat many such sentences with slight changes in the names and spellings day in and day out. To cut the crap short and put it as crisply as possible,
"You bullshit your way out of the fools who never knew how genuine bullshit sounds like. That's all and that's MBA."
and btw, in the coke example all i meant was "It's the feel you get while drinking a coke and not just the taste that matters". Now if i say this, everyone would that say he knew it and rightly so. And when i bring in percieved value and guassian tests i get paid for saying what every tom, dick and harry knows and why not... let's bring in lavoiser and newton and ask for a double pay. :)
Let's solidify our stance on MBA with another example
Four kids were involved in an MBA discussion:
kid1: Hey.. You know what, i wrote only 3 pages for the third question
kid2: Really.. I managed to write 4 with some tables and drawings and underlined the side headings. Yippie! I'm gonna get a grade more than what you'll
kid3: You know what.. i used color pencils and drew a flow chart for what each alphabet meant and how the alphabets N, A, F, T, A came into existence in english litterature
kid4: F*** ***... I just wrote the full form of it
(Just for record sake, the question was... "Expand NAFTA")
and the grades are out...
kid1: B, kid2: A-, kid3:A+, kid4: C (just passed)
kid3, quite dissatisfied with his results requests the teacher to give him an A++ (a grade that doesn't exist) so that he'd be the only one in his league.
And my dear ladies and gentlemen an MBA is a place of matured souls and hence please do expect to find a mixture of these kids with approximate compositions being
kid1 types: 20% (will upgrade to kid2 types in a month), kid2 types: 30%(will upgrade to kid3 types by the end of a trimester), kid3 types: 45%(they can't get any better(read worse)), kid4 types: 5%(50% of these take an year to upgrade to some level and the other 50% don't change... atleast not for numbers and marks)
*All percentages are subject to an error quotient of 0.1%.
To summarize it all, one of my friends in an emotional burst once rightly said, "I'll manufacture bullshit without feeding any bulls and make money out of it, If needed i'll outsource the manufacturing business as well." I hope he understood what he meant. After all he's also an MBA.
I frankly don't find a difference between these two statements. I've Spent the last 2 years in transforming myself from the latter (B-Tech though) to the former (MBA). But what i did and what i learnt was nothing more than enjoying an extended break of 2 more years.
The other day one of my friends called me up and asked "Dude... My prof in TIME says we need to slog our asses off and study like 1000 pages a day. How do you manage". I was like "1000 pages? Yaa.. some times even 2000 you know, you need to learn better time management and speed reading is very crucial. You know what, sometimes you have to stay awake for 3-4 days in a row to finish off the projects and presenatations. The expectations are very high and the competetion is intense. You can't afford to be complacent, ever." The other side of the line remained in pertrified silence as the dude on line stood expressionless fearing what would happen to him once he joins the M.B.A cadre.
For once, just for once, strictly between you and me let's speak the facts and let's illustrate them with an example.
There is something called a colored drink and there's something called a coke. Even though they taste the same, "the coke" costs 5 times more and sells 5 million times more. Now if you consider coke as a brand and map it on the keller's perceptual brand conciousness map you can find the emotional attributes are maked to the top right quadrant while the percieved goodwill occupies the top left quadrant. If you perform a guassian relation analysis on that you'll find that percieved value of taste is far surpassed by the brand imagery which further indicates a higher aspirational quotient for the soft drink category.
Now, I never understood that sentence and would never believe a person who claims to have understood such a sentence. But we MBA's proudly say that's what we feel are the reasons behind coke's success and repeat many such sentences with slight changes in the names and spellings day in and day out. To cut the crap short and put it as crisply as possible,
"You bullshit your way out of the fools who never knew how genuine bullshit sounds like. That's all and that's MBA."
and btw, in the coke example all i meant was "It's the feel you get while drinking a coke and not just the taste that matters". Now if i say this, everyone would that say he knew it and rightly so. And when i bring in percieved value and guassian tests i get paid for saying what every tom, dick and harry knows and why not... let's bring in lavoiser and newton and ask for a double pay. :)
Let's solidify our stance on MBA with another example
Four kids were involved in an MBA discussion:
kid1: Hey.. You know what, i wrote only 3 pages for the third question
kid2: Really.. I managed to write 4 with some tables and drawings and underlined the side headings. Yippie! I'm gonna get a grade more than what you'll
kid3: You know what.. i used color pencils and drew a flow chart for what each alphabet meant and how the alphabets N, A, F, T, A came into existence in english litterature
kid4: F*** ***... I just wrote the full form of it
(Just for record sake, the question was... "Expand NAFTA")
and the grades are out...
kid1: B, kid2: A-, kid3:A+, kid4: C (just passed)
kid3, quite dissatisfied with his results requests the teacher to give him an A++ (a grade that doesn't exist) so that he'd be the only one in his league.
And my dear ladies and gentlemen an MBA is a place of matured souls and hence please do expect to find a mixture of these kids with approximate compositions being
kid1 types: 20% (will upgrade to kid2 types in a month), kid2 types: 30%(will upgrade to kid3 types by the end of a trimester), kid3 types: 45%(they can't get any better(read worse)), kid4 types: 5%(50% of these take an year to upgrade to some level and the other 50% don't change... atleast not for numbers and marks)
*All percentages are subject to an error quotient of 0.1%.
To summarize it all, one of my friends in an emotional burst once rightly said, "I'll manufacture bullshit without feeding any bulls and make money out of it, If needed i'll outsource the manufacturing business as well." I hope he understood what he meant. After all he's also an MBA.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
woooowww!!! Now i'm a complete man
"A complete man is one who in his life time has atleast once smoked, drank and went to jail" said my social teacher while i was in class 3.
Three hours ago, for Rs. 3, i've spend three times three (9) hours in jail. Unbelievable! believe it and that my dear ladies and gentleman could happen only in the land of miracles and guns, ghaziabad.
The background score is somewhat like this. A shabby looking student rushes to the railway station to drop his friend and accompanies him to the platform(no.2) without a platform ticket thanks to the heavy queues. While returning he gets caught by the ticket inspector and the story begins...
There are around 90 people in the room. 6 pickpocketers sitting in a row on a table, 3 chain snatchers and 80 other regular ticketless travellers and ME (sitting right next to the pickpocketers). It's now 10A.M and i've been already sitting inside that for 3 hours. An open bathroom coupled with cultured ghaziabadi folk added flavor to the occasion. Three armed guards stood vigil at the gate to ensure no one escapes the room. Everyone else there felt so like home over there. They have no exams, no presentations, no pending movies, they were really enjoying the place and the ambience. I was the only one not feeling like home over there.
Then enters sher singh, a tiny man in his mid-40's... the name of a sher, the size of a macchar :P. He's a true ghaziabadi to his core. Had a slight bulge over his pocket which for sure is a 0.34 mm glock, he started cursing and shouting slogans and slangs. Man, he's got so much emotion with him. Soon everyone started loving the 'sher singh show'. A show with yogasans, drama expressions and lots and lots of bull shit. I, for one never understood hindi and for the first time repented for my inability. However his emotions and expressions surpassed language boundaries and touched everyone's "laughal chords".
Still it's 12 noon and they said the magisterate would be in somewhere around 3 P.M IPT (Indian punctual time). Meanwhile i've been inventing a reason every 5 minutes in the name of exams, presentations etc., and etc., to escape their clucthes and none to any use. I waited, I waited and then.. I waited again.
It's around 3 PM and the magisterate quite shockingly arrives on time. I was scheduled to be 67th in the list to meet him despite being their first frag of the day. My continuous cirbbing about exams, presentations finally did good for me. They called me in first, thanks to my exams story and faked tensed expression and more thanks to some positive manipulation by the "master manipulator" (more about him in next blog) :D. They put us all (me, the chiansnatchers etc., etc., in a single straight line, ensured the straight line is straight and set us on our way to the magisterate). Boy oh Boy! what a feeling. All the attention is on me. The passerby's, vendors everyone's staring at me in awe! Being too modest i could not digest such appreciation and treaded ahead in steady steps. After 10 minutes of wait i enter the magisterate's room
The following conversation happened in English (English and ghaziabad ain't the most romantic of the couples, but then.. it happened like that only)
Me: Good evening sir
He: You did not take ticket, why?
Me: sir actually i had to drop a friend and by the time we arrived the train's already arrived and there's a big queue and so i had to rush to the platform without a ticket.
He: But, but that is wrong
Me: Sir i accept it and it's purely unintentional and my first time. Moreover i have been waiting since 7 AM and already lost an exam and paid the penalty. So be considerate (some stupid story in here in order to save some bucks)
He: After 6 months.. u come at 7
(I was like aaah.. what did u just say? Did it actually mean something? and gave an expression that meant the same)
He: This is a criminal offense and i'll put u in jail for 6 months.. then u come at 7 after 6 months
I was about to say... "Yaa, 6 months, i come, u go, thattt only"
but somehow controlled and said "sir, it was unintentional be considerate"
He: No intentional or unintentional.. fine is fine... go
Me: (i go, u also go) thanks...
and paid 256.67 times.. i.e., 770 re fine for a bloody 3 re platform ticket
and thus... I completed the missing element of my manhood (After having tried smoke and booze long back)
Three hours ago, for Rs. 3, i've spend three times three (9) hours in jail. Unbelievable! believe it and that my dear ladies and gentleman could happen only in the land of miracles and guns, ghaziabad.
The background score is somewhat like this. A shabby looking student rushes to the railway station to drop his friend and accompanies him to the platform(no.2) without a platform ticket thanks to the heavy queues. While returning he gets caught by the ticket inspector and the story begins...
There are around 90 people in the room. 6 pickpocketers sitting in a row on a table, 3 chain snatchers and 80 other regular ticketless travellers and ME (sitting right next to the pickpocketers). It's now 10A.M and i've been already sitting inside that for 3 hours. An open bathroom coupled with cultured ghaziabadi folk added flavor to the occasion. Three armed guards stood vigil at the gate to ensure no one escapes the room. Everyone else there felt so like home over there. They have no exams, no presentations, no pending movies, they were really enjoying the place and the ambience. I was the only one not feeling like home over there.
Then enters sher singh, a tiny man in his mid-40's... the name of a sher, the size of a macchar :P. He's a true ghaziabadi to his core. Had a slight bulge over his pocket which for sure is a 0.34 mm glock, he started cursing and shouting slogans and slangs. Man, he's got so much emotion with him. Soon everyone started loving the 'sher singh show'. A show with yogasans, drama expressions and lots and lots of bull shit. I, for one never understood hindi and for the first time repented for my inability. However his emotions and expressions surpassed language boundaries and touched everyone's "laughal chords".
Still it's 12 noon and they said the magisterate would be in somewhere around 3 P.M IPT (Indian punctual time). Meanwhile i've been inventing a reason every 5 minutes in the name of exams, presentations etc., and etc., to escape their clucthes and none to any use. I waited, I waited and then.. I waited again.
It's around 3 PM and the magisterate quite shockingly arrives on time. I was scheduled to be 67th in the list to meet him despite being their first frag of the day. My continuous cirbbing about exams, presentations finally did good for me. They called me in first, thanks to my exams story and faked tensed expression and more thanks to some positive manipulation by the "master manipulator" (more about him in next blog) :D. They put us all (me, the chiansnatchers etc., etc., in a single straight line, ensured the straight line is straight and set us on our way to the magisterate). Boy oh Boy! what a feeling. All the attention is on me. The passerby's, vendors everyone's staring at me in awe! Being too modest i could not digest such appreciation and treaded ahead in steady steps. After 10 minutes of wait i enter the magisterate's room
The following conversation happened in English (English and ghaziabad ain't the most romantic of the couples, but then.. it happened like that only)
Me: Good evening sir
He: You did not take ticket, why?
Me: sir actually i had to drop a friend and by the time we arrived the train's already arrived and there's a big queue and so i had to rush to the platform without a ticket.
He: But, but that is wrong
Me: Sir i accept it and it's purely unintentional and my first time. Moreover i have been waiting since 7 AM and already lost an exam and paid the penalty. So be considerate (some stupid story in here in order to save some bucks)
He: After 6 months.. u come at 7
(I was like aaah.. what did u just say? Did it actually mean something? and gave an expression that meant the same)
He: This is a criminal offense and i'll put u in jail for 6 months.. then u come at 7 after 6 months
I was about to say... "Yaa, 6 months, i come, u go, thattt only"
but somehow controlled and said "sir, it was unintentional be considerate"
He: No intentional or unintentional.. fine is fine... go
Me: (i go, u also go) thanks...
and paid 256.67 times.. i.e., 770 re fine for a bloody 3 re platform ticket
and thus... I completed the missing element of my manhood (After having tried smoke and booze long back)
ps: All the characters, events and descriptions are truths truths and only truths
Monday, February 16, 2009
WIN FREE GIFTS!! (it's not fake)
"Life should get boring every now and then. well.. with out it, life'll be too boring."
Now let's not discuss on whether or not i made any sense (ofcourse i never made!), but i have to do something in life. That i know, what? i don't know.
So, i opened up a piece of wood pulp (known as a "book" in popular lingo) and opened it's first page. There lies the logo of our college in a beautifully faded blue along with a date that was out-dated by a month or so. "A 100 re. fine!" i grinned as i turned to the back page to see it's price. "Rs. 95", it was written in bold black.
Obviously disappointed with my efforts to study (My parents always were), i switched on my pious laptop that has gone into "Mute vratha" a month ago. During a dream or something like that i got a golden oppurtunity to score from my goal-post and as result there she lies. A white dell inspiron lying naked on the ground in the cold without a shiver or a scream and as they say. the rest is history and it wouldn't since then open it's mouth neither to sing a song nor watch a movie.
I venture out for a street talk to find a company and alas! the street doesn't talk. It's filled with busy people. People busy doing nothing, People busy dreaming and people busy realising their dreams and there i stand embarrassed amidst all of them without a dream, but with lots of time.
So, like a shrewd investor, i decided to invest my time so that i get it back with interest when i need it. Now the big question.. where to invest?
ANSWERS/SUGGESTIONS WELCOMED.... AMAZING GIFTS ASSURED IF YOUR SUGGESTIONS YIELD RESULTS
Now let's not discuss on whether or not i made any sense (ofcourse i never made!), but i have to do something in life. That i know, what? i don't know.
So, i opened up a piece of wood pulp (known as a "book" in popular lingo) and opened it's first page. There lies the logo of our college in a beautifully faded blue along with a date that was out-dated by a month or so. "A 100 re. fine!" i grinned as i turned to the back page to see it's price. "Rs. 95", it was written in bold black.
Obviously disappointed with my efforts to study (My parents always were), i switched on my pious laptop that has gone into "Mute vratha" a month ago. During a dream or something like that i got a golden oppurtunity to score from my goal-post and as result there she lies. A white dell inspiron lying naked on the ground in the cold without a shiver or a scream and as they say. the rest is history and it wouldn't since then open it's mouth neither to sing a song nor watch a movie.
I venture out for a street talk to find a company and alas! the street doesn't talk. It's filled with busy people. People busy doing nothing, People busy dreaming and people busy realising their dreams and there i stand embarrassed amidst all of them without a dream, but with lots of time.
So, like a shrewd investor, i decided to invest my time so that i get it back with interest when i need it. Now the big question.. where to invest?
ANSWERS/SUGGESTIONS WELCOMED.... AMAZING GIFTS ASSURED IF YOUR SUGGESTIONS YIELD RESULTS
Sunday, November 30, 2008
If only...
Today is a good day. A day to remember. I attended my first class which eventually turned out to be the last of the 20 classes scheduled for the subject (Though the attendance register says i missed none). I see a new face, an young and energetic fella in his mid 30's, dressed up pretty formally all excited to take the class surrounded by a small bunch of poor souls begging for that extra attendace. This guy is supposedly the instructor of the subject :). I felt like going upto him and say "hi,this is puneet, i've come to attend your class, u may introduce yourself very briefly and start with the class" but some how couldn't muster up the courage to do so. My favorite seat was already waiting to be occupied. The last seat in the last row. The one entity in the class i miss the most. It's been with me since my childhood. It has hidden chits for me, made creaking sounds when the prof overshot his time, managed not to break when i jumped from atop the desk, it's been with me in times good and bad. I merrily occupied it and started to read the newspaper of yesterday.
The class starts with its usual ritual.. roll call
1,2,3....
sir: 02; me: present sir (the tone is dull)
sir: 22; me: yess (finally the momentum is building up)
sir: 26; me: yes sir (the voice's flat this time)
sir: 35; me: presentt;... sir: who's 35; me(raising my hand): sir, 35.. (never mind, i'm 42)
sir: 36; me: yes sir (in a harsh tone)
sir: 42; me: present sir (moving to my left)
sir: 59; me: yes sir (occupying the empty seat on the right)
huh!! half the purpose solved... got the proxies for all my proxy buddies.
As the "innovation and creativity" class inches on, the "other half purpose" reckons.. It's a 2 minute impormptu presenation that carries a 10% weightage. My turn comes up and so does the topic "poetry"
I was like :O as soon as i heard the topic... thus i spoke
errr.. ahemm..
The noon is sultry
boring is the subject of history
Tasty is the chocolate pastry
whether this classifies as a poetry
or simply a stupid rhyming story
is still an unsloved mystery
ahem!!
while on the other hand
in a far off land
there is a certain band (of people)
who weild their poetic wand
touching several hearts at rand(om)
for them...
The concept is true
and the depth felt
the audience is you
and the complexity dealt
There is that rhyme
echoing at the right time
evoking a feeling
that keeps your heart reeling
It shall be written neither for fame
nor for rhyme
It was a mere portal
which made human expression immortal
huh! My 2-mintues are done and i come back and take my seat. The chick in black sitting next to me threw a smile and followed it up with a compliment "you were nevous". In case you were wondering what my definition of compliment is... some days back, someone famously said "An optimist receives comments as compliments" and i am an optimist :) ; so i followed it up with a scenic dream duet with the chick in black. By the time i'm out into the real world the class is over.....
-----
If you were wondering why i missed 19 opportunities of being part of such a happening class and 100's of many more other classes...
here's the reality for you
- I get caught and loose 4 attendances for marking a proxy
- I fumble and mumble and tumble and jingle for a 1 minute prepared presentation
- No chick in black, no com(pli)ment, no duet :(
::angry:: Now, tell me one reason why i should go to class ::angry::
-----
The class starts with its usual ritual.. roll call
1,2,3....
sir: 02; me: present sir (the tone is dull)
sir: 22; me: yess (finally the momentum is building up)
sir: 26; me: yes sir (the voice's flat this time)
sir: 35; me: presentt;... sir: who's 35; me(raising my hand): sir, 35.. (never mind, i'm 42)
sir: 36; me: yes sir (in a harsh tone)
sir: 42; me: present sir (moving to my left)
sir: 59; me: yes sir (occupying the empty seat on the right)
huh!! half the purpose solved... got the proxies for all my proxy buddies.
As the "innovation and creativity" class inches on, the "other half purpose" reckons.. It's a 2 minute impormptu presenation that carries a 10% weightage. My turn comes up and so does the topic "poetry"
I was like :O as soon as i heard the topic... thus i spoke
errr.. ahemm..
The noon is sultry
boring is the subject of history
Tasty is the chocolate pastry
whether this classifies as a poetry
or simply a stupid rhyming story
is still an unsloved mystery
ahem!!
while on the other hand
in a far off land
there is a certain band (of people)
who weild their poetic wand
touching several hearts at rand(om)
for them...
The concept is true
and the depth felt
the audience is you
and the complexity dealt
There is that rhyme
echoing at the right time
evoking a feeling
that keeps your heart reeling
It shall be written neither for fame
nor for rhyme
It was a mere portal
which made human expression immortal
huh! My 2-mintues are done and i come back and take my seat. The chick in black sitting next to me threw a smile and followed it up with a compliment "you were nevous". In case you were wondering what my definition of compliment is... some days back, someone famously said "An optimist receives comments as compliments" and i am an optimist :) ; so i followed it up with a scenic dream duet with the chick in black. By the time i'm out into the real world the class is over.....
-----
If you were wondering why i missed 19 opportunities of being part of such a happening class and 100's of many more other classes...
here's the reality for you
- I get caught and loose 4 attendances for marking a proxy
- I fumble and mumble and tumble and jingle for a 1 minute prepared presentation
- No chick in black, no com(pli)ment, no duet :(
-----
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The more you think of them, the less they happen
For the past 45 minutes he hasn't changed his cross-legged, left thumb on right-toe pose. He stay as much in the same state as he was when India got it's penultimate wicket and is desperately waiting for the last bail to fall off. Another hour tick by and a few more minutes for the stalemate to take centerstage. He's nervous, he's sweating, he needs some fresh air! (or does he)... he needs India to win, he continues to sit in the same pose
For the past 3 days, he spent sleepless nights thinking of the "she" he's always thought of. He's done all sort of crazy things for her which he terms as "funny and embarasing" to his friends. He's done that willingly time and again and she's accepted them gleefully back then. she's accepted his friendship, accepted his gifts, accpted his mischief, accepted everything but him as a lover. He continues to wake through his insomnia
For the past 20 years, he spent all his life aiming to become an engineer and build a dam to his village. Despite his inadequacies coupled with poor facilities, he worked hard, real hard to move closer towards his goal. The closer he went, the more he realised the "dreamy element" of his dream. He tried real hard to convince and he failed once. He's spent all his life on this and petitioned one last time to try his luck and wait anxiously for the result. He continues to wait for his life's purpose
Just for the sake of record.....
India lost the match
she married "some one else"
The bridge was never built
Now, the underlying question is... BUT WHY??
DON'T ask me, i donno.. plz enlighten me if u know :)
For the past 3 days, he spent sleepless nights thinking of the "she" he's always thought of. He's done all sort of crazy things for her which he terms as "funny and embarasing" to his friends. He's done that willingly time and again and she's accepted them gleefully back then. she's accepted his friendship, accepted his gifts, accpted his mischief, accepted everything but him as a lover. He continues to wake through his insomnia
For the past 20 years, he spent all his life aiming to become an engineer and build a dam to his village. Despite his inadequacies coupled with poor facilities, he worked hard, real hard to move closer towards his goal. The closer he went, the more he realised the "dreamy element" of his dream. He tried real hard to convince and he failed once. He's spent all his life on this and petitioned one last time to try his luck and wait anxiously for the result. He continues to wait for his life's purpose
Just for the sake of record.....
India lost the match
she married "some one else"
The bridge was never built
Now, the underlying question is... BUT WHY??
DON'T ask me, i donno.. plz enlighten me if u know :)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The minus 2 (-2) effect:
At 16, Cesc fabregas is the youngest goalscorer for arsenal football club.
At 6, Puneet varma is the younest 3rd grader in school (or proabably the whole locality)It makes a good news item and only a good news item.
There is nothing to cheer about for being way younger than the bunch. The endless list of being the "paraolympic kid" follows:
a) Outdoor
- I used to get beaten up in every fight in the school
- My sole aim in any outdoor competition was NOT to stand first (from last)
- I celebrated when i made it into the 10-men kho kho team of our class (total strength - 11)
- I've never won any prize in any outdoor gaming event
b) Lovedoor
- Indians have this stupid notion of not falling in love with elder women (i am an indian)
- Junior and most of subjunior girls join the above cadre
- At any stage, i am always too young to crib about this to my older "still-single" classmates
- The sarcasm in "you are still a kid" is just unbearable
- My little brain is unable to comprehend the increasing levels of feminine complexity
c) Miscellaneous:
- My advice is always disposable by a single sentence "arrey.. he's a kiddo! forget what he said"
- Most of the times there is truth in the above sentence
- There is that odd feeling that lingers all the time during the ragging sessions (most of them
are 3-4 years elder to me)
- Brain is expected to work over-time to make up for the lack of experience (though it ended up in hibernation, that's a different story all together)
- People presume i'm 24 while i'm still 22 (it feels painful, especially when u claim u're still
21years, 10 months old and round it to 21)
At 6, Puneet varma is the younest 3rd grader in school (or proabably the whole locality)It makes a good news item and only a good news item.
There is nothing to cheer about for being way younger than the bunch. The endless list of being the "paraolympic kid" follows:
a) Outdoor
- I used to get beaten up in every fight in the school
- My sole aim in any outdoor competition was NOT to stand first (from last)
- I celebrated when i made it into the 10-men kho kho team of our class (total strength - 11)
- I've never won any prize in any outdoor gaming event
b) Lovedoor
- Indians have this stupid notion of not falling in love with elder women (i am an indian)
- Junior and most of subjunior girls join the above cadre
- At any stage, i am always too young to crib about this to my older "still-single" classmates
- The sarcasm in "you are still a kid" is just unbearable
- My little brain is unable to comprehend the increasing levels of feminine complexity
c) Miscellaneous:
- My advice is always disposable by a single sentence "arrey.. he's a kiddo! forget what he said"
- Most of the times there is truth in the above sentence
- There is that odd feeling that lingers all the time during the ragging sessions (most of them
are 3-4 years elder to me)
- Brain is expected to work over-time to make up for the lack of experience (though it ended up in hibernation, that's a different story all together)
- People presume i'm 24 while i'm still 22 (it feels painful, especially when u claim u're still
21years, 10 months old and round it to 21)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
The train
After three hours of hassles resulting from a mixture of
- ghaziabad's amazing transport system
- my own punctuality
- my superb understanding of hindi as a language
- my watch deciding to run 10 minutes late
I stand there surprised to find some jagjit singh, 42 assigned to my berth. With two minutes for the train to leave i realised that i have got upgraded to 2nd a/c (was pretty delighted) and took my berth (side lower it was)
I sit there disconnected completly from the outside world by the curtains, long and thick ones dipped in dark blue with white roses embroidered at will all over them. I sit there with my legs streched out peeping through the window, laughing at my hindi and at the past 3 hours that made me almost miss my train. The long journey, 27 hours in lenght starts ticking. I just re-check my defense against it which include a laptop, 3 india todays and a brain ever-ready to dream. I chose to dream for a start. To dream of being the producer, director, actor, lyricist, singer, cinematographer for a movie titled "say something new". As the protoganist dressed in full black jumps off the eiffel tower suddenly the curtain opens leading way to a beautiful hand that caught my gaze followed by a more beautiful face. I knew that the train halted at agra and for a moment wondered if i was staring agape at the taj. Two beautifully carved eyes stuck like pieces of art amidst the marble white of her face. They are followed down south by a beautiful long nose and a pair of small round pink lips that wrapped up the mastepiece. She looked pretty emabrassed at my gaze and i soon followed course and managed to divert my eyes off her. Both of us waited in silence, waiting for the other to talk/smile whatever. Both stood by our adamant silence as she sat in front of me cross legged peeping through the window. The train picked speed and the silence is growing dangerously silent. Barring excpetions of a few throat clearences and faked coughs there was no other sound to be heard. Finally unconsciously i started to appreciate the better beauties of the nature that lay beside the india today i was faking to have been reading. She broke the silence with her sweet voice and extended her hand as she pronouced her name. I was too dumbstruck to hear it. Struck by the sweet movements of her lips, I could not hear a word of what she's said. She waited for a response but i was long lost in her thoughts. I managed to regain my senses and introduced myself and said all sorts of pompous things which i would not have said even if i were asked to introduce myself to some mukesh ambani.
She said that she loves reading books and talked at lenght about ayn rand and sidney sheldon. With my limited acquaintance with those authors i managed to speak some no "non-sense" (or atleast i thought so). Then the topic slowly shifted to poetry (my strength) and i decided it's now or never. Armed with a few tens of poems (which lacked any form of poetic sense) my confidence boosts up, but not for long.
she: What type of poetry to u write
me: what type? (god.. i didn't know the types of poetry, i only know rhyming and non-rhyming and meaningful and meaningless... help help, F1, F1)
me: ohhh.. type... hmmmm.. not one in particular u know
she: but still u must be liking a genre right?
me: yeah.. i'd prefer romantci
she: ohh.. shakespearean or lakeside
me: hmmm... both
(i didn't know what they meant and decided i can't take this any more)
me: ok.. i don't like any type of poetry. I write poems and i write for fun. They only have a thought and an overall meaning that are in coherence with me and my mood. That's it, no genre, no inspiration. yes, i know, poetry ain't that way, but i am like this only
she: (burst into laughter as soon as she heard that from me).. we've a name for that.. that's called my-type. As a matter of fact i am also a "my-type" poetess who write just for fun and timepass but still love it more than anything else. Except for some wikipediaed info, i am an illeterate in this genres and stuff
me: (sighed in relief) haa! we've got a poetess.. great! can we have a poem.. please
she: (blushing) no.. no.. sometime later
me: sometime LATER, later, later (kept repeating the word with a hint of sarcasm)
she: ok.. ok.. one of them
I dream of a song
a song with a meaning
a song that carries a feeling
I dream of a song
a song of love
a song that's about you
I dream of a song
a song in the rain
a song that takes away a pain
I dream of a song
a song of the farewell kiss
a song on how i much i miss (you)
I dream of a song
a song of life
a song on us
I DREAM...
(All the time the poet inside me is slowly dying of inferiority complex and by the end the funeral cermony is long back completed). I stare at her with an emotion that's a mixture of awe, envy and just everything.
Some-how, just some-how i appreciated her whole heartedly (i couldn't have done this to any other poet) and i stare at her with a wide smile that made her blush further. Then she asked me for a poem but i couldn't recall any of the "good ones" partly for fear of looking stupid, partly as i was yet to come out of the surprise and delight i just experienced.
she: now, the my-type poet.. your turn!!
me: u make me feel envious of you and feel down and out.. i can't with a smile
she: don't try to run away! i won't let you (signalling that she'dnt)
me: k.. since english poetry is already covered, i'll say one in telugu
ninnu parichayam chesindhi naa chelli
aa taruvtha kanapadledhu nuvvu mallee
vethikaanu nee kosam prathi galli
aarateesanu andarini gilli gilli
chivaraku deeni talli
adhe telugu cinemaa story mallee
settle ayyindhi nee pelli
naa gunde talla dilli
manasu sanna gilli
aina attend ayya nee pelli
endukante
raadhu kadhaa malli
free gaa oka killi
(This was a rhyming poem about a lover attending his lover's marriage for the sake of eating a pawn). Absolutely senseless, but amazing rhyming!!
I cursed my choice of poem selection as her eyes grew wide and wide and the smile extended from the left to the right ear. She suddenly burst into a heavy laughter that lasted long enough for me to join her in the act of laugh riot.
A few strands of her silky long hair slipped over her lips as she laughed incessantly. without any answers to "why did i do", "what am i doing", "have i gone mad", i extended my hand to clear the hair off her spotless face. The magical touch of her cheeks took me off by delight and surprise. I retreated to immediate silence realising the gravity of the act. She casually ignored it and continued with her laughter.
The time of seperation has come. The train halted and i've to leave now. i refuse to accept the hard fact. I get down the train saying good bye to her and the sweet time. Just as i was to go back home i recall that i've forgot something in the train. I reboarded the train and asked her for her mobile to call my parents as they haven't yet come to recieve me. As i dialled the number, thephone rings in my pocket ;)
- ghaziabad's amazing transport system
- my own punctuality
- my superb understanding of hindi as a language
- my watch deciding to run 10 minutes late
I stand there surprised to find some jagjit singh, 42 assigned to my berth. With two minutes for the train to leave i realised that i have got upgraded to 2nd a/c (was pretty delighted) and took my berth (side lower it was)
I sit there disconnected completly from the outside world by the curtains, long and thick ones dipped in dark blue with white roses embroidered at will all over them. I sit there with my legs streched out peeping through the window, laughing at my hindi and at the past 3 hours that made me almost miss my train. The long journey, 27 hours in lenght starts ticking. I just re-check my defense against it which include a laptop, 3 india todays and a brain ever-ready to dream. I chose to dream for a start. To dream of being the producer, director, actor, lyricist, singer, cinematographer for a movie titled "say something new". As the protoganist dressed in full black jumps off the eiffel tower suddenly the curtain opens leading way to a beautiful hand that caught my gaze followed by a more beautiful face. I knew that the train halted at agra and for a moment wondered if i was staring agape at the taj. Two beautifully carved eyes stuck like pieces of art amidst the marble white of her face. They are followed down south by a beautiful long nose and a pair of small round pink lips that wrapped up the mastepiece. She looked pretty emabrassed at my gaze and i soon followed course and managed to divert my eyes off her. Both of us waited in silence, waiting for the other to talk/smile whatever. Both stood by our adamant silence as she sat in front of me cross legged peeping through the window. The train picked speed and the silence is growing dangerously silent. Barring excpetions of a few throat clearences and faked coughs there was no other sound to be heard. Finally unconsciously i started to appreciate the better beauties of the nature that lay beside the india today i was faking to have been reading. She broke the silence with her sweet voice and extended her hand as she pronouced her name. I was too dumbstruck to hear it. Struck by the sweet movements of her lips, I could not hear a word of what she's said. She waited for a response but i was long lost in her thoughts. I managed to regain my senses and introduced myself and said all sorts of pompous things which i would not have said even if i were asked to introduce myself to some mukesh ambani.
She said that she loves reading books and talked at lenght about ayn rand and sidney sheldon. With my limited acquaintance with those authors i managed to speak some no "non-sense" (or atleast i thought so). Then the topic slowly shifted to poetry (my strength) and i decided it's now or never. Armed with a few tens of poems (which lacked any form of poetic sense) my confidence boosts up, but not for long.
she: What type of poetry to u write
me: what type? (god.. i didn't know the types of poetry, i only know rhyming and non-rhyming and meaningful and meaningless... help help, F1, F1)
me: ohhh.. type... hmmmm.. not one in particular u know
she: but still u must be liking a genre right?
me: yeah.. i'd prefer romantci
she: ohh.. shakespearean or lakeside
me: hmmm... both
(i didn't know what they meant and decided i can't take this any more)
me: ok.. i don't like any type of poetry. I write poems and i write for fun. They only have a thought and an overall meaning that are in coherence with me and my mood. That's it, no genre, no inspiration. yes, i know, poetry ain't that way, but i am like this only
she: (burst into laughter as soon as she heard that from me).. we've a name for that.. that's called my-type. As a matter of fact i am also a "my-type" poetess who write just for fun and timepass but still love it more than anything else. Except for some wikipediaed info, i am an illeterate in this genres and stuff
me: (sighed in relief) haa! we've got a poetess.. great! can we have a poem.. please
she: (blushing) no.. no.. sometime later
me: sometime LATER, later, later (kept repeating the word with a hint of sarcasm)
she: ok.. ok.. one of them
I dream of a song
a song with a meaning
a song that carries a feeling
I dream of a song
a song of love
a song that's about you
I dream of a song
a song in the rain
a song that takes away a pain
I dream of a song
a song of the farewell kiss
a song on how i much i miss (you)
I dream of a song
a song of life
a song on us
I DREAM...
(All the time the poet inside me is slowly dying of inferiority complex and by the end the funeral cermony is long back completed). I stare at her with an emotion that's a mixture of awe, envy and just everything.
Some-how, just some-how i appreciated her whole heartedly (i couldn't have done this to any other poet) and i stare at her with a wide smile that made her blush further. Then she asked me for a poem but i couldn't recall any of the "good ones" partly for fear of looking stupid, partly as i was yet to come out of the surprise and delight i just experienced.
she: now, the my-type poet.. your turn!!
me: u make me feel envious of you and feel down and out.. i can't with a smile
she: don't try to run away! i won't let you (signalling that she'dnt)
me: k.. since english poetry is already covered, i'll say one in telugu
ninnu parichayam chesindhi naa chelli
aa taruvtha kanapadledhu nuvvu mallee
vethikaanu nee kosam prathi galli
aarateesanu andarini gilli gilli
chivaraku deeni talli
adhe telugu cinemaa story mallee
settle ayyindhi nee pelli
naa gunde talla dilli
manasu sanna gilli
aina attend ayya nee pelli
endukante
raadhu kadhaa malli
free gaa oka killi
(This was a rhyming poem about a lover attending his lover's marriage for the sake of eating a pawn). Absolutely senseless, but amazing rhyming!!
I cursed my choice of poem selection as her eyes grew wide and wide and the smile extended from the left to the right ear. She suddenly burst into a heavy laughter that lasted long enough for me to join her in the act of laugh riot.
A few strands of her silky long hair slipped over her lips as she laughed incessantly. without any answers to "why did i do", "what am i doing", "have i gone mad", i extended my hand to clear the hair off her spotless face. The magical touch of her cheeks took me off by delight and surprise. I retreated to immediate silence realising the gravity of the act. She casually ignored it and continued with her laughter.
The time of seperation has come. The train halted and i've to leave now. i refuse to accept the hard fact. I get down the train saying good bye to her and the sweet time. Just as i was to go back home i recall that i've forgot something in the train. I reboarded the train and asked her for her mobile to call my parents as they haven't yet come to recieve me. As i dialled the number, thephone rings in my pocket ;)
Friday, September 05, 2008
What can you do if....
The keyboard works awesomely wrong and you get a w++ when u type a w
(This seems a crazy case, but yes! it is a true case)
- kick it, smash it
- kiss it, cuddle it
- intoxicate it (preferably scotch if the keyboard's a costly one)
- blame it on moon (since it was vinayaka chavithi)
- add a "-" after every plus to negate the effect
- spell w as uu.. after w is double u
- go for a version fallback (w++ could have been a modified version of w like c++ for c)
- Define w in your keyboard as a static key (then it's value can't be
increased to w++)
- get w out of redcross ('+' is the symbol for red-cross and proabably w is a new volunteer wearing the badge
- Get a dozen sumos load of shouting and sword rotating rowdys from karampudi to seperate the love-struck couple w and +
- last and probably the worst of all.. call the service center
-------------------
You see a girl and you like her.. but she's french
- Grow a french beard
- Go watch french kiss (for those "who thought something else" folks, it's a romantic classic starring meg ryan)
- write your name with a dash over every e and pronouce d as dhhh
- go and say "nenu ninnu premisthunnanu".. If she asks to repeat, tell her el neno ninno el premisthunnano.. This time, just walk away.. don't wait for the reaction
- Learn to eat pasta without hand-picking out that sticky material that glues to your mouth
- just say "irava mupiambre ____".. fill ___ with whatever u want to ask her.. "irava mupambre means it's better to take" as far as my french knowledge goes :D
- get her out on a walk in the rain and write a poem on her... believe me! it works.. after all, french and drench rhyme (use wrench, bench, clench, trench in case u fall short of rhyming words :P)
- be prepared to wear 1-2" soles (average french female height exceeds the average indian male height by the number of medals india's going to get in next olympics)
- last but by far the best option, forget her and get some indian girl on track!
(This seems a crazy case, but yes! it is a true case)
- kick it, smash it
- kiss it, cuddle it
- intoxicate it (preferably scotch if the keyboard's a costly one)
- blame it on moon (since it was vinayaka chavithi)
- add a "-" after every plus to negate the effect
- spell w as uu.. after w is double u
- go for a version fallback (w++ could have been a modified version of w like c++ for c)
- Define w in your keyboard as a static key (then it's value can't be
increased to w++)
- get w out of redcross ('+' is the symbol for red-cross and proabably w is a new volunteer wearing the badge
- Get a dozen sumos load of shouting and sword rotating rowdys from karampudi to seperate the love-struck couple w and +
- last and probably the worst of all.. call the service center
-------------------
You see a girl and you like her.. but she's french
- Grow a french beard
- Go watch french kiss (for those "who thought something else" folks, it's a romantic classic starring meg ryan)
- write your name with a dash over every e and pronouce d as dhhh
- go and say "nenu ninnu premisthunnanu".. If she asks to repeat, tell her el neno ninno el premisthunnano.. This time, just walk away.. don't wait for the reaction
- Learn to eat pasta without hand-picking out that sticky material that glues to your mouth
- just say "irava mupiambre ____".. fill ___ with whatever u want to ask her.. "irava mupambre means it's better to take" as far as my french knowledge goes :D
- get her out on a walk in the rain and write a poem on her... believe me! it works.. after all, french and drench rhyme (use wrench, bench, clench, trench in case u fall short of rhyming words :P)
- be prepared to wear 1-2" soles (average french female height exceeds the average indian male height by the number of medals india's going to get in next olympics)
- last but by far the best option, forget her and get some indian girl on track!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Another olympic gold for india... yippie!!
Hang on!! Am not another sport critic/patriotic indian celebrating Bindra's gold.
The other day i was slightly inspired seeing Usain bolt strike the track for the second time and leave everyone dumbstruck with his lighning speed. And unfortunately my dad also sees him run and sees the slight spark of inspiration in my eyes and he was like..
dad: No use sitting here and watching them. It takes years of practice to even go there.
me: Years of struggle for 20 (sry.. 19.30 seconds to be more precise!).. what a poor time sense.
dad stares angrily (he knew i would never run a sprint in olympics)
me (sitting there thinking if there's someway i can be in olympics) and suddenly this idea strikes me.
I recall the hardships i've gone through during the day
- woke up at 9 after mom splashes water on my face for the third time
- Tooth brush sits on my bedside with paste well adorned over it
- Breakfast and a bottle of water ready as soon as i come out
- As i finish my breakfast and relax, a pillow automatically covers my back and the fan starts to rotate without me even wishing for it.
- The tv switches on and the channels swap till i say "stop"
- The same cycle repeats as if it's the rule of the nature
awesome!! ladies and gentleman presenting to you youngest gold-medalist from india (@21), the reigning world record holder for the longest hibernation (9 days in december 2007) and the gold-medalist of 2008 beijing men's heavy weight lazy bugger.. "ME" :D
pour in your congratulations in the form of comments... Afterall i've struggled 21 years learning to be lazy and believe me it's super tough, but thanks to my parents, buddies and above all my lazy spirit for helping me acheive this miraculous feat. I promise that i'd never let u down and bring in more honors for me and my country in the future. Jai hind! good night!!
The other day i was slightly inspired seeing Usain bolt strike the track for the second time and leave everyone dumbstruck with his lighning speed. And unfortunately my dad also sees him run and sees the slight spark of inspiration in my eyes and he was like..
dad: No use sitting here and watching them. It takes years of practice to even go there.
me: Years of struggle for 20 (sry.. 19.30 seconds to be more precise!).. what a poor time sense.
dad stares angrily (he knew i would never run a sprint in olympics)
me (sitting there thinking if there's someway i can be in olympics) and suddenly this idea strikes me.
I recall the hardships i've gone through during the day
- woke up at 9 after mom splashes water on my face for the third time
- Tooth brush sits on my bedside with paste well adorned over it
- Breakfast and a bottle of water ready as soon as i come out
- As i finish my breakfast and relax, a pillow automatically covers my back and the fan starts to rotate without me even wishing for it.
- The tv switches on and the channels swap till i say "stop"
- The same cycle repeats as if it's the rule of the nature
awesome!! ladies and gentleman presenting to you youngest gold-medalist from india (@21), the reigning world record holder for the longest hibernation (9 days in december 2007) and the gold-medalist of 2008 beijing men's heavy weight lazy bugger.. "ME" :D
pour in your congratulations in the form of comments... Afterall i've struggled 21 years learning to be lazy and believe me it's super tough, but thanks to my parents, buddies and above all my lazy spirit for helping me acheive this miraculous feat. I promise that i'd never let u down and bring in more honors for me and my country in the future. Jai hind! good night!!
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