The art of hibernation

hibernation: defined as 'the act OR RATHER THE ART of retiring into inactivity;

ever wondered how to master this art of hibernation:
here is the 5-step model that acts as a complete idiot's guide to perfect hibernation:
a) choose a freeezing environment!
b) buy a nice thick razai (comforter)
c) have nothing in your mind except a single motto
d) the motto should be "sleep, chat, do something, do nothing, but don't come out of the bed"
e) don't let your mind to work, put it to complete and perfect sleeep!!

THERE u go... follow these steps with utmost determination and dedication and you are assured to acheive the highest levels of comfort mankind could ever experience.

ps: The author has received a diploma with gold medal in practicing and teaching this art! He also has 4 years of experience in this field and is an active promoter of this art!! Right now he just came out of hibernation after 7 days and is posting his experience in this post :P
for more detailed and customised hibernation guide call him, or scrap him.... :D

ps to daiictians: once psr wrote a similar post on hairloss n he got replies asking him if he was a hair specialist.. so me too trying to promote my new startup on lines of ravishankar's "the art of living" ... hope i would get lotsa similar replies.... :P

For those who heard of the name chottaudaipur : go ahead!!
for others: Screw you guys! go home!! (eric style ;))

Any names, incidents mentioned here are real and true with a high probability and bear close resemblence with one of you currently in iiit, infy, mindtree, palakol, karimnagar, lucknow, florida, anywhere or with those who have done thier rural internships in chotaudaipur. It is in your best interest to identify yourself with one of these persons. All complaints, rantings etc., will be happily entertained.

chapter 1:
roll no.1 : Both of us share names, sizes and bald heads. I must confess, though with a sense of defeat that he's the superior version of me. This dude is the reason i am still writing this coz he put his leg in the path of me (rather 20 of us) and a ghastly accident and he himself got his leg injured by balancing the jeep to save us all from a jeep-fall.

chapter 2:
Simply : (bagground muzic) "THE DUDD IS HERE, but who cares!". ok, history says 'A bunch of ppl from a college arrived at a place for summer internship and there is one guy who fought with only one person on one day. But then since they ran out of persons and he has no one to fight with, their internship was cut short and he was sent back home so that he could find new people to fight with'. Some of the chapters in this story include a fight with Dpalli over the fact that he too knew foul words being unaware of his inexistent foul word database, a fight with palakol over why palakol included simply's name in a usual "made-up" story, a fight with LC over love, lust and it's cyberspace realities, a fight with me over the ethics of dobbudu and the greatest of them all being a fight with tarochi over the lineage of hitler. It is during this history lesson that i happened to befriend our story lead. At 5'2, with piercing looks and great hair this guy is one hell of a casanova. All the tribals over there were mad after this guy. But this guy is mad after some one and this some one ran away to lucknow (we'll come to this later). One notable saying of this guy that will be etched on the manuscripts of chotaudaipur history is "pani paata lekunda pani pata leni panulu cheyyataaniki nenu nee laaga pani paata lekundaa lenu raa". If u get to meet this person some time, don't ask him the meaning, ask him to repeat this!! I bet he get confused, scolds you and finally blushes :P

chapter 3:
Palkol : (background music) "The dude is here.. and everyone runs". Just 1 year in daiict, he left his footprint everywhere. Everyone knows this guy and yes he makes sures that everyone knows him and the best part is he succeeds in doing so.
His sprint while chasing the cricket ball was unmatchable. His face becomes red, his hands move up and down gracefully as his 6-pack abs bounce vigorously reminding me of mahesh babu chase scene in athadu.. The batsmen run 2 runs, he's chasing the ball, 3 runs, still chasing, 4, yeah.. still chasing, 5, stilll...6, he gets the ball, concentrates on the stumps and throws. hurray!!! overthrow 4 runs.. the opponents win.
It was actually this guy's idea to put up shaadi.com, Being a gifted and natural businessman he modestly agrees that he was inspired by palakol pellilla perayya and decided to computerise marriages. But then during our internship, his competitors tapped all his confidential information as he gave unending lectures to the poor fellow interns over the marriage system in south india, tips, tricks and stories(created them if they didn't exist), and what not. And the next day shaadi.com was launched.

chapter 4:
urs truly : (background music)"The dude is here.. man, he's a real fata**". This guy in his opinion is the no.1 contender for the post of eric cartman after eric tarcman quits his job (if at all). He stays awake after everyone has slept, thanks to anu's soothing short stories, gazing into the stars and thinking of some nasty advertising concepts. The next day he proudly says them to all and he's so dumb that he blushes as others sarcastically make fun of his ideas. His stomach is so huge, still so bad that he suffered for 2 days after having a light meal of 3 plates of panipuri, 3 omlets and 4 boiled eggs. People were afraid to sit in the same jeep as he does, thanks to his senseless, spiritless forumla 1 commenty of chotaudaipur jeeps. He saw some one in a car 12 days into the internship and spent the remaining 22 days dreaming about her. He's such a fata** that he wants to write so little about others and so much about himself :D

confession: yes, this attempt is an imitation of bai krishna's work!! Afterall he's my guru!!!

Titles of the upcoming chapters: lc, tarochi, pope and ma$$, Dpalli, dubai seth, a failed captain, drowned and still alive, the logic is here, any one missing...

muhahaha (the poetic harassment continues)

adhigadhigo chettu
aa chettu kinda vudhi oka chinna kottu
aa kottulo vundhoka lady with a pedda bottu
aa kottulo konnanoka jeedi pattu
tinesi dabbulu eggottu
paripothundaga tagilindoka mettu
bokkarborla paddanu on the gattu
padagane arisaanu oh! shittu
virigindhi naa chethi manikattu
daaniki kattaru pedda kattu
deeniki 1000 rupees haam phattu
ee story title rupaayi eggottu
veyyi rupayalaki bokka pettu!!



choosava maa kottha tv
konnanu on the korika of my kaaboye biwi
oka channel lo vasthundhi match of kiwi
inkoka daantlo coming movie review of jeevi
inko news channel lo speech of ex-PM PV
maroka daanlto running is a movie
of all time mega star chiranjeevi
chinnapatnunchi choosanu gantalu gantalu ee tv
ippudu raasukotaaniki emi ledhu in my CV
kaani i still love u my dear TV
endukante lekapothe ee TV
bore kotti raasevaadini avi ivi
and aipoyevaadini oka picchi kavi
and janalu eggs viserevaaru on me
i am grateful to you my dearest TV.

Hyderabad blasts....

dudes... sry for continuing my poetic harassment.... but still just seen a few videos and can't help writing something...

emi saadhichaarayya meeru?
rendu baambulu pelchi
nalabhai praanalu pottana pettukuni
emi saadhichaarayya meeru?
kula matha bedhaalu lekundaa
40 mandini swarga rahithulani chesaroi
entho goppa varayya meeru
ennenni sokaalu, ennenni vishaadaalu
inkenno aavedanalu, aarataalu
annitini vaari kutumbaalaku
mitrulaku sontham chesi
vari pranalanu matrame teesukupoyaaru
entha dayahrudayulayya meeru
ninna navvukunna navvulu
nedu lekundaa chesi
jeevitham lonchi anadanni maatram teesesi
anubhavalani varidaggare vadilesi
jeevatchavalla bratakamani
valla kutumbalaki prana bhiksha pettare
mee visaala manasulaku naa padabhi vandanamulu
meeke teliyani mee asayalakosam
ardham kooda teliyani poratam ane padam kosam
mee goppa nayakula maata kosam
asayalu alochanalu kaligi
anthaku minchi acharinchagala satta vunna veerini choosi
endukayya meekintha kullu
nedu nalabhai mandini champaaru
repu naalugu vandala mandini champuthaaru
ee desam lo janalaku karuvu ledhu
mee raktha dahaniki anthu ledhu
samanya manavuniki prasanthamaina jeevam ledhu
naa gurinchi meeremi dukhinchanakkarledhu
nenu kooda meelantivaadine
naakemi nastam vatillaledayya
naa bandhuvulu, snehithulu andaru kshemam
araganta mundu okathanu vacchesaadu
inkokaru akkadiki vellane vellaledhu
mee laaga anandam tho kerithalu veyyakunna
anandamgaane vunnanu.. naakemi kaaledhu kadha
naa aasayaalu naaku vunnayi
adhi chaalu naaku, verevaaru emaipothe naakenti
mana ee alochana vidhaaniki naa astanga danda pranamamu
saadhichaarayya saadhinchaaru
otti maatalu matrame kaavu maavi
ani meeru niroopinchukunnaru
mee asayalaku, anthaku minchi
mee asaya acharanaku, daaniki minchi
mee acharana vidhaananiki
naa joharlu!! johar!!

Good old days are back in more than one way

After trying harder and harder to get used to the so-called "new system" it's the same age-old process of late-realisation that's happening right now. DAIICT and IMT hardly had any differences. If we put aside the difference in names, ownership (one by sp supporter anil ambani while the other was managed by commerce minister and UPA candidate kamal nath) and location, not much is different in both. Here are a few similarities
Age of empires: huh! back to good old days of taking goths and attacking enemy in fuedal age with towers.. yet to have the loooooong discussions.
Counter strike: no snakey, no 7odd, so tusstop rulezzz here.. no one can escape his deadly "drag-snipe" (term borrowed from snakey)
footbal: finally there is a place which recognizes me as their first choice goalkeeper...poor guys... donno abt our penalty shootout missing abilities
food: brijwasi has something to cheer about that there exists another place in this world which serves badder food that brijwasi... but these guys provide unlimited chicken and hence managed to be at par with brijwasi in overall ratings
rooms: same old story wherein my roomie never stays in the room and i move about in other rooms.
free time: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year... free!! free!!! free!!!!

puneet sri sri mahaprasthaanam khonnie :P

statutory warning: ONLY people with knowledge of telugu may proceed further... Strong literature admirers (like KTR etc.,) and others may proceed at their own risk...
original link:
http://www.eenadu.net/sahithyam/display.asp?url=prasthanam.htm
above is the link of mahaprasthanam by mahanubhaavudu sri sri

below is my khoonied version: :P

talavanchuku raasthunnava nestam
selavantoo ee classni vadili
kalaposhana konasagakapoga
mba chaduvu baruvu baruvu kaaga
atu choosthe, itu choosthe evaroo
chiru navvu, cheyootha ivvaka
andariki chaduvu dhyasa, aasayala ghosha
neee sukumaarapu hrudayaniki gayam chesthe
atu pothe, itu pothe antha
andari kallallo lakshyalani choosi
nee okkadike levana vedanatho, baadhalatho
vekki vekki edusthoo raasthunnava, nestham!
chaduvula purugulu mesale ee
dushta lokam lo nilabadaleka
siggutho taladinchukni raasthunnava, nestham!
chirunavvulanevi ika levani talasthoo
adugaduguna ponchi vunde
aneka quizzulatho
answerlu teliyani questionlu pette
okkokka professor latho nindina
ee dusta samrajyam loki
denni vetukkuntoo vellavoi, nestham!
entha anyayamaipoyaavoi, nestham!
enni aasalu nee meeda pettukuni
enni kalalu nee gurinchi kani
anne tannesaava nestham!
entha daarunam chesavayya nestham!
B-wing corridor lo manam inkaa
ninna kaaka monna maatladuthunnatte vundhi...
SAC groundni
kalakala laadinchina nee aata
kanapadakunda karigipoyindhaa inthatlone
Gandhinagar veedhullona manam
udayam sooryudu vacche daaka tiragatam
gnapakam vunda?
Mess pakkana godugula kinda manam
annee chicken biryanilenaa tindhi?
CAT ye samasthamu anukuni
tindi, aata leka
ekkada vunnamo, ekkadaki pothamo teliyani
aavesamtho,
chukkalalo choosthoo sollu koduthoo
GRE raasukuntananna ninnu
rekkapatti nilabetti lokam
ennenni mockcat lu raapinchi
ennenni dushphalithaalu choopinchi
aasalaku teralanu, kalalaku pogalanu kappi
sapinchindho, sikshinchindo manalni
tudaku ninnu visha valayam loniki laagi,
nidraku samayamu lekundaa chesi,
kanneellanu, aananda baashpalu gaa talimpajesi
gundello guggillapu dhoomamvesi
manasuni prasnalatho nimpi
talachukunnappudalla,
tanuvulo, manasulo
ari veera bhayamkara
bhavishyatthunni kallakkattinattu coospisthoo
ekkadaku vellipaddavayya nuvvu
entha mosapoyaavayya nuvvu
evaru dukhincharule nestham! nee jeevitham lo aanandam pothe
edho nenu, aaruguru snehithulu tappa
library addalu viragakundaane vunnayi!
classullo cheppe paatalu
sajaavugaane saaguthunnayi!
presentationla samayamlo evaroo
choodanu kooda choodarule nee vaipu!
evari panulalo vallu
evari tondaralo vallu
evariki kavali nestham!
emaipothenem nuvvu!
evvaroo nee anandam gurinchi aalochinchadamledhule!
evariki kavali nestham!
kaagitham meeda raasina kavithalu karuvaithe
kanapadani vottidi ninnu kabalisthe
andani gradelu ninnu mantristhe! niyantristhe!
evariki kaavali nee aanadam!
emaipothenem nuvvu!
maa BC classki mottam hazaru!
maa chaduvu memu chadvukuntunnamu
maa kalaposhananku sidhilaalu migilaayi
maa chetilona pustakala vale!
mammalni nuvvu polchukolevule nestham!
ledhu nestham, ledhu!
nee prabhavam mammalni vadalaledhu
nirutsahanni jayinchatam
aanandallo viharinchatam
neevallane nerchukunnamu!!
parikshala dobbudu maaku telusu
bhayam ledhule ainappatiki
naa gradele oka udaharana
naa jeevithame oka oravadi!
ninna modalettina poratam
nedu konasaaginchaka tappatledhu!
kaavuna ee niraasa samayamlo
ee kavithanu pooristhunnanu!
ikkada koorchuni nenu
ivaala kavithalu raasthunnanu
andulo ee raasthunna ee satyam
aalochinchu nestham!
ilaa choodu nee bhavishyatthu
idhe naa maha prasthaanam!

The good, The bad and The ugly

It's been 15 days at IMT and this is puneet reading out the first fortnight report..
The good:
- colors: Lots and lots of them. I'm literally blindfolded especially after spending four years in darkness at daiict. Life is full or colors but not so colorful(i'll come to that later).
- football: Finally a football ground where my kick crosses the half way mark (the ground is only half thee actual ground), and yeah... the usual "unnecessary dives" :P and stuff...it's good!
- classrooms: yes, you read it right. But hold on! it's just the classrooms, and when i say classrooms it's only the room and nothing else.. Nice benches, cool a/c aaah...heaven??
- chicken: I can't miss this out from the list especially after having a stomach full 15 minutes back.
The bad:
-colors: As i've already said, there are lots and lots of them and it's difficult to choose. Even though u've chosen one there are just too many males with an aesthetic sense that every color is liked by n. it's a 1:n or rather m:n relationship and you need to know normalisation and all to break it up to 1:1... I'm poor at that (Especially after a dry stint at daiict)
- football: Just days before my last days in college, as usual gone for a dive and this time injured mah shoulder. The injury still haunts even after 2 months. So caught up in a dilemma whether to play or not.
- classrooms: You've to be on time and u can't sleep in a air-conditioned room. What crap! then what for are the a/c's??
-chicken: The peices are too big and u've too lil time to choose gud ones as a big line would be snaring at you as u try to avoid the neck pieces, bones and all that stuff.
The ugly:
-colors: With lot of difficulty chose some of the colors and tried normalising them. But....
yeah! that's what is called as "shit happens, and it always happens with me"
-football: you're up 6-2 and loose the match 6-7...gosh! even then who cares. More importantly, what's the purpose of playing football yaar... look at buffon or ashley cole! they've got sexiest of the gals with them... But look at me... pcccccccccch
-classrooms: As i go to the class at 8:31 it's only the first benches that are empty. people come at 8 to book a place in last bench. At early morning 8:30 u've to stay awake and be attentive in a class? i can't even imagine that.
- chicken: While veggies are having great time, people like me who are pure non-veggies have meals only 2 times per week..am starving!! other b-schools like iim-l are having non-veg 6 days a week :(

Highway to Hell via Ghaziabad

After a tedious "yet another 27 hour journey" i reached the city which a few years back is leading in national crime ratings. In the heart of the city is a college that claims very incorrectly to be among the top10. Finally i reached there. It was not where i wanted to go. I always wanted to go to some other place, at least the one that's 300km from here where looney started ruling. I wanted to go wear the tag, but some how missed it and i've decided to be happy and searched for n ways of being contempt with what i've got and even conviced myself that it is "the best" i could possibly get. As they say self deception is the ultimate blunder a man could ever make and results are fast visible.
Throughout four years in daiict(which i call (m)heaven) i've done lots and lots of things. lots and lots of time spent doing absolutely nothing and it's the nothingness i call heaven. It's the daily 10 hour sleep, sunset-sunrise chatting where the mind has absolutely nothing. But things have changed. I wake up at 5:30 in the morning which i'vent done in my life. I do yoga for 1.5 hours, another first time in life thing. I come back and attend classes from 9 am to 1 in the night with 15 minute breaks. This, i am sure would never do in my life. In three days i thought of going back home and watching tv and occasionally thinking of the infy job 3 months away. But life's harsh and the harshness doesn't even end at 1 in midnight. Seniors come and knock at the doors and request to come to basketball courts. Not for us to play, but for them to play with us for minium 3 hours. They take turns and they keep going without even getting tired.
But yeah... I'm tired, vexed etc., etc.,
Will be soon back with some cheerful post(hopefully) ;)

What crap

Just logged into blogger to write something about my village which i happened to go to a day before writing this blog.
As soon as i log in thanks to the human's invulnerable ability to be highly vulnerable i fell pray to google. As soon as i logged in there was this message
"how about spending an hour or so and earn 100$"
initially i was sceptic and shouted like eric cartman
"how about u come here and ************* for 5 cents"
Then my subconcious thought without me letting know about it... 100$ oh that's 10,000 cents that's 42000 indian rupees, that's (i donno exactly) but a pretty large afghan currency... I thought of how many punugu's i can eat and how many badam paal's i can drink with such an astronomical sum and started to fill the survey uncousciously. Aftere spending nearly 30 minutes of mah really valuable "donno wat to do" time the message came "thanks for filling the form...something something"
huh........In that desperation and exasperation i have to write this as i forgot what i actually wanted to post before filling that form....

Creepy tales from ghaziabad

It's night 10'o clock in the horrorred city which once had the reputation of being the one with the highest crime rate in india. I'm sleeping in a no-star hotel with a huge 3000 in my pockets. Also there's an imt admission locked in the bag. I felt that something flashed onto my eyes and woke up in horror. What caused that flash? Did any one photograph me?(I was sleeping without my shirt and that's a rare sight even for the potpourri :P)? Are they gonna upload this on masalaboard? Is anna going to download it and put in on DC++? In a typical "find out the answers in next episode" all these questions started in my mind. I switched on the light and found out that the flash was the cry of another light starving from lack of proper power supply.
Huh! no mb, no dc, safe for now!! thought I, and went back to sleep
This time it was a thunder... The last time I have seen lighting come before thunder was during "mosagallaku mosagadu" when super star krishna defies the nature laws as he shoots from his gun which first makes a sound, followed by a flash and then the villian escapes.
But when did krishna get trasferred to Ghaziabad?? Even priya feku and idle brain didn't know that...The door was knocked again as i was still visualaising the mosagallu scene.
When i opened the door, the hotel boy ( i guessed he is he...) asked me to move to another room. That room has exactly the same backdrop which alfred hitchcock had for psycho... A room without a lock on one side, a huge window from which i could hear strange sounds and see devilish shadows.
Again the next episode questions "why did he move me to this room? will some one kidnap me (huh! that's a distant possibility for a man of any size i thot :P), will some one steal my money? or worse my imt seat? I thot, but being assured of my goal keeping abilities decided that i could with my quick reflexes would run away from being caught by the imaginary thief. So i slept, woke up a few times in the night, watched the four sides of the room, slept, woke, slept and finally was woken up by priya feku....

Puneet SRI SRI Varma

[1]
Oodindhi Oodindhi juttantha oodindhi
nuditi meeda juttu, chevulapaina juttu
Oodindhi Oodindhi juttantha oodindhi
CAT mayalo padi, XAT maikam lo padi
Oodindhi Oodindhi juttantha oodindhi
JMET kosam paritapinchi, aalochinchi, aaratinchi, apekshinchi, nireekshinchhi
akkada juttu, ikkada juttu oodindhi oodindhi antha anthaa

ayyayi ayyayii jebulanni khaalee ayyayi
naa jebu, maa ayya jebu, anna jebu,baabai jebu
ayyayi ayyayii jebulanni khaalee ayyayi
juttu kosam, batta kosam, batta leni juttu kosam, batra kosam
ayyindhi ayyindhi jebantha khaalee ayyindhi
[2]
batta netthi
mangali katthi
dimag ki batthi
bandaru kothi
kaadhedhi sutthi kanarham
[3]
raani raani vasthe raani
callul, gradul, rankul, markul
pone pone pothe poni
juttul, dabbul, timeul, sollul
kaaney kaaney aina kaaney
inkenti kaaney...naa bongu :P
andukey
pone pone pothe poni
callul, gradul, rankul, markul
raani raani vasthe raani
juttul, dabbul, timeul, sollul, girlul

U.P goes to U.P

Finally all the cattie things are over for good and the callie things are back to bang!
U.P has to go to U.P to finish of the callies. So he starts at apnu amdavad and reaches after some fast forwards to java's very own hometown shaharanpur.
Chilling cold, words freezing as they come out of the mouth!!!
Adding fuel to fire are the legendary PJ's of P_i_a_h__
A meek 40 odd kg rickshaw puller was assigned the task of dragging me and P of Pj fame to Java's house. Some how, just some how the rickshaw puller succeeded. We reached, spoke some sing language with the people in hindi (poor chaps, they knew only hindi), had a nice dinner and off we go to sleep. Next day we were sitting in a bus as we are supposed to shift our bases to haridwar. "secularism" has been something that quite confuses me. But there is this place in the way where a temple and a mosque were located side by side without even a wall seperating them...Good! india is developing i was about to think, but was surprised to see yet another spectacle. There was a biiig bridge and on one side there were all farms. I was wondering why do one want to build a bridge above farms. To sow seeds and fertilizers easily atop the bridge?? On the other side there was water. Ok... i too didn't understand what it was! May be some sort of Macro Dam-irrigation project. Finally, we reached ganga and changed history. History says that whoever takes a dip in ganga will be purified of all their sins... But lucky ganga! i took a dip in it and it was purified of all its sins :P...whatever the water was too cold to take a dip...so i just spilled 2 drops over my head, 3 over my face and retruned back... After some jajjinakari janari at the interviews am back to coll...