Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The "Big Ride" Theory

Mauti Swift, Audi Q3, BMW X1, Tata Nano, Bajaj Auto, APSRTC bus, tired legs, the exhaustive list extends to the 8th mile.

How you choose the rides (first meaning) of your life, is a function, a function of the complicated synaptic impulses that function inside the brain.
How do you choose to commute to office is a function?
How do you choose to go out when no one is watching you.... is a function?
How would you like to go to a movie, is a function?
Which one do you choose when you finally decided to make one your own is , yea.. a function?

Before you get engulfed in the complex rhetoric of the function, let's disseminate it and understand the function:-

F(x) = [(Pi/2)*A + B^2 + rand C + D - E(Y)] * ___

A: Beauty - Beauty as they say, is eternity gazing at itself in the mirror.. the sheen of the color, the sexiness of the curves, the deafening noise as it revs, the grace of an evening walk, dew drops that decided to stay back and admire the skin; It is but the first (and practically the most important) factor that swings the decisions. Three thumb rules here:-
1. Scale of 1-10; 10 being the highest
2. ALWAYS use (Pi/2) as multiplier. When i say always, i mean it and when it's in CAPS, more so..
3. The equation doesn't end here. There are other parameters in it

B: Character - Life develops itself in the stream of character or is it the other way round? Character develops itself in the stream of life. Irrespective of which one of the above quotes (options of both and neither including) is correct, it is theoretically and in the long run, practically, THE most important attribute. Thumb rules (or rather questions)? yea.. here they go:-
1. Is it 'brand new'?
2. What about running cost?
3. Is it reliable or prone to break down when you need the most?
4. Will it accommodate the family, if need be?
5. Is it cool enough/ hot enough to suit the circumstances?
6. Any hidden clauses?
7. Is the prioritization of specs in line with your priorities?
8. Does it suit the 'roads' that you tread or you'll have to change paths?
9. In what 'condition' is it? Will it last the distance
10. and the last one, how 'adjustable' is it? I mean, the seats

C: Net Monitary Impact (NMI) - Ahh.. The M-word, how I hate it, I like it with equal zeal. Also, the rand function in here is not actually random. It's a customized randomness. People, envy, greed, circumstances, star alignment and even laziness... these six sins lead to the 7th sin of assigning a 'close to infinity' value to the 'rand' function. DO NOT commit it for Brad Pitt will hunt you down and show you the reality in 5 years time when you are sitting in the middle of a pool of money looking at it all day not knowing what to do, not knowing how to un-do singing in chorus with Franklin Benjamin and Mohandas bhai the song,
"Your shades of beautiful green
hiding your character so mean
oh money, my honey
I want my life back
I want to be back on track
don't end my journey
oh money, my honey"

D: Legacy - Born, made and 'given by the stars'; German engineering, Japanese quality; some legacies are in the DNA and for a reason. Take it into genuine consideration and, exercise some caution. Big legacies can go into oblivion thanks to one black sheep and if your model is that black sheep, "honey, you are in for the ride of your life time" (imagine 'ghost rider' making you sit on the back seat of his bike and telling you this); That's how it's going to be. Some legacies may not be born, but are made, technological advances, terrific marketing, great service. It's a choice on how much weight you give to 'DNA legacies' and how much to 'created legacies' and how much to 'given by the stars', but it's not a choice to ignore. 'Given by the stars' is too vast a subject to be included in current scope. Just take it for granted and go ahead. That's makes your life easier in a world of complex functions.

E: E, you Effing beauty. The best one of them all. The error co-efficient. The one word to put all parameters in their place and dictate the terms. The one word that can make the world look rosy and ugly at the same time. The one word to turn tables on its head. THE ONE WORD TO RULE THEM ALL.

___: The mystery. Yes, 2032 prototype, first one to come out of factory, the 1865 antique model, the one you loved the most as a kid, the one you aspired all your life, the one that everyone you love loved, the one that revved up for you when everything else gave up, the one that creates the adrenaline rush like no others, the only one that's available.
This, my dear is VETO power. Though it happens rarely, if it has to happen, It happens. PERIOD.

Good luck with your ride. Do drop me a note if the theory works for you :)

1 comment:

Satish said...

Ya... still stuck in the storm...
Still trying to find inner peace in my ride