Sunday, September 10, 2006

What not to do at aIIM CAT

disclaimer:
All the explanations that follow are experiences of a dumb 19-year old(yeah...i'm still 19), interpreted in a dumber manner and presented in the dumbest possible way.

If you wanted to know what to do at the aIIM CAT this is not your place...
you need to consult the following persons:
king kalli
cool chaitu
chaaku chandu
supernatural chris
I can provide their contacts :)

This is the blog of what not to do before a IIM CAT...
a IIM CAT can either be AIMCAT or the actual CAT.

- Never ever take bath on that day... I have been emphasising on this point time and again but risked not to implement it at times and i paid a heavy price.
It is a general misconception that taking bath keeps u fresh...
but here are the actual effects
-- You'll have no new dress to wear after bath...so you wear something thatz more stinking than ur previous attire
-- You look smart
-- You look at other smart chicks
-- You fail to look at the DI or quant question which obviously are the ugliest things on earth
-- You will be over-fresh... Thatz a mood to party, not to attend an exam.
So never ever take a bath
(if you do so you are destined to be ruined...or that's what happened to me)

-Never try to predict your result with the help of a one-rupee coin (Better buy two solano's and enjoy them if u have a rupee left)

If you try to predict this is what happens
-- If it tosses to your choice, you will be over-confident and you'll screw up the exam
-- If it predicts doom, you obviously want to enjoy as you're destined to be doomed
Whatever, the result is you'll be screwed
Afterall, a rupee coin is the creation of some branch managed by some department of the overtly corrupt Indian Administrative system...
moral: Face the future, Never predict it...(Not atleast with a rupee coin)
(if you do so you are destined to be ruined...or that's what happened to me)

- Yet another misconception is to have a good night's sleep before the exam
-- Wrong, Wrong.. never ever do this
-- If you have had a good night's sleep before the exam, you're destined to have good dreams and you or rather me would love to be happy in the dreams rather than face the wrath of aIIM CAT...
so you tend to get back to sleep in the exam hall at the sight of the paper while at the same time if you had a bad sleep the previous night you tend to be in a hurry to finish off the paper quickly and get back to sleep...that not only tends to increase your speed but also gives a chance to fret out your frustration on the paper rather than letting the paper ra*E you...
So never sleep on a kurl-on mattress the day before
(if you do so you are destined to be ruined...or that's what happened to me)

- Never plan to make a ra*E attempt on the aIIMCAT...
after-math's:
-- You will always find something so surprising as soon as u tear off its (seal...not clothes :P) and you'll realize that an aIIMCAT can never ever be ra*Ed by men(or women for that matter)...
-- Your action will be reciprocated in such a horrible manner that your friends instead of pitying starts lauging if you narrate the incident
-- No court or human rights organisation will come forward to help you
-- If you let aIIMCAT do once, it cultivates a fetish to do "IT" again and again
moral: ************************* (sensored... but i think you got the moral)

- Last but not the least... never read my blog the day before(if you do so you are destined to be ruined...or that's what happened to me)

5 comments:

Mohan Kodali said...

Oh my!Oh my!Oh my!Oh my!Oh my!Oh my!Oh my!

superbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!!! excellent, awesomeeee.. no more adjectives over here...

Charan said...

I'm gonna folow whatever u say... u r my CAT guru!!

puneet varma said...

@chandu: only 3 adjectives... :((
@charan: i guess thatz my dialogue
@143ash: u forgot to add bhai :P

Charan said...

Hey man I actually followed ur advice and I rocked my exam...

Guru brahma guru vishnu guru devo maheshwaraha...

Abhay said...

all our experiences in a nutshell..this'll sure be nostalgic when we read this a year frm now :)