When Derp met Derpina

Derp, standing a tad bit short of six feet, flaunting his recently reclaimed paunch sat at the center of the isolated restaurant in a penchant mood. He was accompanied by his parents who were busy sipping hot filter coffee. The beauty of sunset got accentuated by the blue tint on the windows. Derp kept staring at the sun till it fully set and the moon-lit clouds replaced the sun to maintain the beauty of the cold evening. This hasn't been like any other ordinary evening. He didn't realize if it was due to the sparkle on the clouds, the orange tinge on the sun or just the butterflies in his stomach. It has been 1 month since Valentine's and he's for the 26th time passed the valentine's day dreaming of an angel in an alternate universe. she was supposedly clad in white with sparkles of red here and there glowing in tandem with her blue eyes. Just when he was slowly slipping to the thoughts of his angel in an alternate universe, he's felt a bump in his sensory perceptions. He stared at some one who's passing by the window. He kept on staring at her till she passed into what seemed like oblivion and kept staring at nothingness long after she's gone. In a minute, from the other side of the room, the door opened and a cool breeze accompanied by a beautiful face  swept the place. Mesmerizing was the beauty, it swept him off his feet though the chair stood intact. His now extinct hairs tried to sway in tune with his heart as he saw her for the first time. It was rather the 2,594th time, but it felt like the first time. It was the first time after 22 years, 3 month 5 days, that was the last time he's seen her

~23 years back:
Khajipalem is a beautiful pristine village on the coastal belt of Andhra Pradesh. Close to the sea with agriculture as the primary occupation, the land is home to abundant crops, good people and great times. Towards the northern tip of the village were two homes sharing a common wall. Atop the wall would be transferred a 1-year old bundle of cuteness everyday. From her home to her neighbor's. She'd soon be accompanied by a 3-year old who'd play with her, tease her (not sure if he beat her :P) and take pictures with her once in a while. Little did they knew what future had in store for them!

Back to the future:
As she entered the room, Martino Soldado, the resident poet who slumbers deep inside the mind of Derp woke up with a jolt and hurriedly penned the following lines:

The mighty hills stared at her in petrified silence
The sky clears the clouds for a clear view of her face
The trees tries to capture her beauty under their shadows
The breeze sneaks through her hairs to steal a glimpse of her face
The whole world feels better for a moment
There she stands soothing the rocks under her feet
energizing and revitalizing them with each step she takes
Her smile adorned as a gorgeous arc on her lip
Her eyes, bright and expressive
showcasing the world all that's good and happy
all that's worth to live for!!
Her face, a personification of perfection
fair, elegant, captivating and full of grace
A sense of eternal beauty and peace prevails
prevails forever, forever in her presence

In the meantime, everyone was seated at the table, the parents had exchanged pleasentaries and left Derp and Derpina all by themselves.

Being taken over by Martin Soldado, the ubiquitous shy poet, Derp kept staring at Derpina, writing poems, rhyming words in his mind, but no words every flew off his vocal chords. Derpina,being the good shy girl she always was stuttered with words but couldn't utter a word. The waiter walked in with two soft drinks. Derp's tummy has been longing for calories for quite sometime now. He's gone on a crash diet and starved himself of all that he likes (read: all the stuff that has excessive fat content). Without even a customary note of "have it" to Derpina, he lifted the bottle and finished it all in one go. Derpina in the mean time felt thirsty but was a little shy and was waiting for Derp to offer her the drink. Derp -  Naaah!! All he managed to was a long loud burp that symbolized his contentment. As the silence continued barring the burp, Derp finally started off with the conversation:

Derp: So, watsup?
Deprina: Your tummys up.. It's moving up and down so rhythmically.. It's so funny. Derpina said to herself as she continued to keep her head down starting occasionally at Derp and his tummy from the side of her eye. Nothing much, going on is what she's managed to utter
Derp: Hows college?
Derpina: College is good
Derp: Hows life?
Derpina: Life is good
Derp: Hows Pepsi?
Derpina: (you drank the entire thing and you are asking me.. what an @#$#@).. It's good
Derp: So, what are your expectations?
Derpina: (That you atleast offer the drink to others before you gulp) hmm.. nothing specific, just wanted to be like good friends
Derp: Ok.. and
Derpina: No and.. it's a full stop
Derp: No No, no full stop. You should say more
Derpina: No more.. you say more if you have any more requirements
Derp: I've a split personality. Farmer, Thinker, Poet, waste fellow etc., are you ok with it
Derpina: (I am feeling scared now). Nods in confusion
Derp: Ok... blah blah blah
Derpina: Nod.. Nod... Nod
Derp: More blah blah blah
Derpina: I don't think that any shit that he says makes sense.. but all that i know is he talks a lot, and i kind of like him for some god forsaken reason that i can't understand
Derp: So, you know my friend Eric Broflovski
Derpina: Eric who?
Derp: Never mind, tell me your phone number
Derpina: No. Ask my parents
Derp: No. I'll ask Airtel (Derp can't resist PJs for long)
Derpina: Strange stare..

and then as they say, the rest is history, happy history rather :)

Dedicated to a "love marriage situation struck" friend

Enduku nanna kulam
Character lo vundhi balam
gunam kadha moolam
notikocchindhi anukuntaaru janam
Vadileyandi ee aham
Kalisi vundaamu manam
Enduku nanna kulam

Life's little pleasures - One (Flight Journey)

Picture yourself traveling in a flight that was swiveling left and right and top and bottom like a state transport bus in India running on a bumpy road at 60kmph. That would scare the shit out of anybody! But, for some strange stupid reason (unknown to me), I ended up laughing all the while as the plane continued the bumpy ride. A few moments later,  I recollected how stupid it was to laugh when you were supposed to be scared and that thought, made me smile at myself.. That moment: #Life'slittlepleasures-1

Picture yourself sitting on a flight, seat belt buckled up, tray table closed and seat uptight waiting for take off and then the most boring announcement of safety instructions start. Before I could get bored, the attendant speaks out:
"Can everyone please pretend that you are looking at us"
"This is how you buckle your seat belt.. As if you don't know, huh!"
"This is your life-vest.. Never mind, you don't have to use it anyway"
And just as we were to deplane, she says "I was told this by my parents when I was 18 and I'll tell you that now, pick up your bags and get out" .. The entire commentary brought a smile to the face.. That moment: #Life'slittlepleasures-2

Picture yourself peeping out of the window and see the moon in a straight line (Not on the top, Not on the top right, Not top left, Not "adhigo akkada", But right in front of you in a straight line. You never understood why it appeared so (Optical illusion?), but the moment you see the moon in a straight line and not at the top as how you'd see, that brings a smile to the face. The same smile when you find yourself flying on top of another flight (Though separated by good 1000 feet, you still see the flight right under you). Not that it's anything, but there is a smile when you see that.. That moment: #Life'slittlepleasures-3

Picture yourself staring outside the window randomly and suddenly see an object of relevance. You see it again. And again. And realize it's the stadium of a club you love. You peep out and ogle at it again and again until your neck has turned 220 degrees, until the clouds have blocked the view 3 minutes back, until the smile fades away very slowly from the face. That moment: #Life'slittlepleasures-4

Picture yourself staring at a cloud that the flight is about to dive into. Like that moment when you were about to dive into a swimming pool, the heart picks up a couple of beats and as soon as the plane dives into the clouds, the lips make a small little upward arc. That moment: #Life'slittlepleasures-5

Picture yourself thirsty and desperate to have a glass of soft drink or water. You've asked for it around 20 minutes back, but due to turbulence, you have to wait. Since you were very sleepy, you just slept off. After a while, you feel thirsty again and wake up clutching your lower lip and as soon as you open your eyes, you see a glass of coke ready on the tray table. That moment: #life'slittlepleasures-6

Picture yourself traveling in an airlines that seats people more like how city buses do! Get on first, sit wherever you want. You end up falling in category C which was the last boarding category. Just when you were thinking of taking some seat between two fat guys, you get to sit at a window seat beside a hot chick! WoW! #life'slittlepleasures-7

#8: Passing the security without a beep on the metal detector

#9: Trying to "actually" visualize a Ferrari racing the flight during takeoff

#10: Getting confused between takeoff and takeover and write "takeover" in #9

21.1

"Why does Mumbai roads have more pot-holes than ever before?"

"How can you burn a full day's meal and eat two days' meals all before breakfast?"

These are some interesting questions that came to my mind today!

12 days before:
'Push yourself asshole, you have 10 days to go and you can't even run for 10 kilometers.. you are scrood'
11.9 days before:
<examining my right foot> 'Aah.. i have blister in my foot.. brilliant!'
1 day before:
What the hell! Is there a finishing time? And it's 3 hours. Fuck it! i'm not running
0.5 day before:
Let's buy a red-bull and fly.. introspective laugh at such a stupid joke
30 minutes before, at the starting line up:
Me: "Hey dude.. recognize me?"
Dude: "I do.. but since there is more possibility of me wake up with pschizophernia than you running a half marathon, I would rather believe in my multiple personality disorder"
Me: "Fuck you.. It's me; Anyway, i'll take 4 hours, let's walk"
Dude: haha.. me too! ok

30 minutes into the marathon, a fat lady breezes past me:
She's fat, she's old and she's running faster than me. And i'm here, fat but not as much, all of 26 years old, walking at snail pace, enjoying the early morning view over Worli sea link. I'm least bothered! Go on lady! Run!
One more fat lady crosses. I walk unperturbed. One more. I counted them till 5. At this moment, I decided "Enough".. can't take this anymore...
I bidded farewell to the dude, to the breeze, to the view, to the walk.. and started running

The next 90 minutes:
I continued to run making my own paths through thousands of others.. more like playing NFS with traffic. Hititing other people and sneaking through gaps, evading cops that are in sight. A couple of hot chicks brushed me on the way, but it's primarily due to their lack of direction that mine.. While i was running in parallel with a good chick with better legs, a bell rang in my brain '''Fat lady spotted'''.. I saw ahead and saw one of those running ahead comfortably. I ran faster and faster till i overtook her. It was an unending loop as in daily serials, the same events (Fat lady spotting) happened over and over and over again and I kept on running and running and running till I overtook the entire contingent. By then I was tired, exhausted, breathless. the distanc-o-meter read 15 kilometers.

The last 45 minutes

More than all i was hungry. I saw biscuits, ate them. I saw oranges, ate them. I saw jalebis and chocolates, ate them too. At one moment, i was wondering if somebody could serve me juicy chicken wings and that thought spurred me up. I started running faster at almost 14kmph on this thought and suddenly there was a sprain in the lower left ankle. My legs were out of juice (Energy). Not knowing what to do, I waited there on the sidelines for a minute with the help of some Volini and ice packs. A couple of fat ladies already were past me and a couple of others were about to overtake. I stepped back to course and 'walk-limp-ran' to finish line and finished in parallel with Samit "Never give up" Patel. No clue who he was except that he was a 50-year old with the above writing inscripted on his black tee shirt

All in all, it was a super experience #Mumbaihalfmarathon