Travel Stories - Mumbai local

Of all the people i reluctantly studied about during high school social studies, Hieun Tsang is one memorable person! He's this chinese man with those small eyes who roams around with a lamp on his head. I always thought "Idiot, open your eyes fully and you don't need the lamp to look around" or "Dude.. your long hairs coz of all the oil that the lamp spills?". The second thought is kinda sick, but i had all these thoughts about this cool chinky at that point of time...

Lately, i too have started to roam around like him, not in search of wisdom, not to meet some girl, not to enlighten the world, but for a cause even more divine, to shed some calories! Instead of the lamp, there were earphones and instead of long hairs, there's a bald head.. Whatever it is, here are some 'not so amazing, but story-worthy' tales of the travels

1. The lure of a coke:- If you don't booze, you have to love coke.. you don't have an option! Agreed.. but walking 14 kms in the sun for a coke, you must be nuts?? yea.. man!! So, this is the incident. I start on a walk for 7kms (slimming schedule) and the plan is to return back by auto since 14km is a bit too far. Once i start back, i see this ad of coke somewhere around and felt like having one.. But, at the inception of the thought, my alter-ego hit hard at me "Dude.. you woke up at 7am and just walked 7 kms and you are going to drown all of that with a bottle of coke".
Fuck you! alter-ego, i want the coke.. get lost now!
But the alter-ego persists to pester and i can't have my coke with this guilty feeling. So, what's the second option... "Walk back the 7kms and drink the coke".. No man, you must be kidding, the sun is already up and walking 14kms, you are mad!! and in a moment, i started my walk back.. sun beating strong on my head, like a man chasing oasis in a desert, i tread each step dreaming of that sip of coke, that sweet taste on your lips... aaah!! the pleasure and the motivation... as i walked back the distance, the only shop around where they sell cold drinks is.. you guessed it, CLOSED!!

2. New found devotion to god:- So, the damned coke had made me walk these 14kms; Though i am doing it, i am filled with guilt. Guilt that i'm chasing material things and i need to find some spirituality to erase this guilt. So, i started to roam around under the bridge into 'no man's lands', greeting strange creatures one moment and running away the next, i finally bump into this small yet beautiful lord shiva temple. I found a strange kind of association with him, new found peace and bliss at this temple. Reasons could be many or any, but the feeling is good. So, i start to spend good 30 minutes at this place with nothing on my mind. Have been doing this always except if the sun has already set. (Post sunset, i read in my childhood that gods and demons fight and you might be caught in the cross fire, so i never risked that)

3. B plans:- They said, "If you have to become an entrepreneur, you have to do an MBA"; "If you have to be creative, you have to attend seminars on creative thinking (and read books on out of box thinking)", also said by them.. and all the while i have been doing this with no new idea except the ability to copy ideas without being caught. But this one pot-bellied guy swept me off my feat with his entrepreneurial spirit. You generally see these people, at traffic signals, who tie a lemon and some other strange things into a knot and tie it to the vehicle. This particular 'whatever you call it thing' would supposedly put all the evil spirits away from you. He's just another such guy who chose a different location for his business.
Toll gates -- Awesome! At signals, you have to walk to and fro, and if the signal turns green, you have to move back etc., etc., This guy sits on a chair (with this pot belly) in the middle of the highway and every vehicle that passes the toll eventually passes through him. A larger customer base with little movement. Also, he is not selling his product, you are actually going to him and buying it. This still might be a normal thing, here comes the killer. On the third day, i saw him wearing a thick jacket. It's summer and woolen jackets? what's wrong with this guy? As i walk past him exchanging a queer stare, a biker stops by and our bellied guy ties this 'whatever you call it with a lemon' thing to the bike; As the biker offers to pay, they had a small chat and our guy picks out a pack of cigarattes from his jacket and hands him over for double payment. I am stunned! Simple logic, every smoker needs a fag and you have a one stop shop for spirituality and cigarattes. You don't have to stop some where else and buy that cigaratte, especially when you are already late to work. Though i don't see them inter related, this guy mixed the offering wonderfully well. Take a bow, pot-bellied dude. You are my inspiration!


4. The parked car on the highway: Guys! This one, i don't think is an apt story in a public forum. Call me if you want the details :)

PS: After all this, did i lose weight?
The answer is no. Reason: "Simple, The lure of the second coke is even stronger and my body can't stand a marathon every day"

Introduction (change of ishtyle)

It happens...

The other day i met this good old friend of mine who is this hyper types and introduced him to this new friend of mine who is that 'where did he come from' types.. Looking at 'where did he come from' and me crack a joke and order a couple of coke, this hyper confirmed that we are very close friends and started to spill out everything about the new crush i had... incidentally, she's the other's ex and i have no way to hint this hyper "Enough is enough"... <>

ok.. let's set some expectations here. You must have the ability to distinguish fact from fiction and stop asking me 'those' questions. However, the above can happen to any one at any time at any place.. so let's get some fundamentals right. When you are introducing some one to some one else, there are a few things that they should know..

let's take this hypothetical friend, Phani Shashank (No.. no.. the one who ruled inferno with his awp drags is snakey and the one who camped at d2 is mojo, it's not the same one.. ok?). suppose this guy has to be introduced to this other hypothetical friend, Valcano venu at Lavangam's marriage, how will you do it..

"Hi, Meet my best friend, wH!teSnaKe a.k.a Phani,8 years"
"Hi Snake, this is Venu, 2 years, ff"

1. Alias:-
hint 1 to snake: wHiteSnake, there are no aliases to him.. read the hint, don't open your mouth regarding any of mine or lavangam's secrets!

2. Duration of friendship:-
hint 2 to snake: i know this guy for only 2 years, now, let's sketch this guy off n go find some galla n omlet!
hint 2 to venu: dude... i know him for 8 years and i hardly know you.. enough of introductions, now don't bug us!

3. Greeting:-
hint 3 to Snake:- In case you are high and can't read the first 2 hints, read this! I'm introducing him to you without a title.. not even a 'just friend' if not 'best friend'.. don't start the 'Potu, chicken stuff here'.. please!!

4. Ending:-
hint 4 to Snake:- ff stands for force fit, this Venu's forcefully fitted onto me and i can't get rid of him, tell him that some random Palli is calling us for a group snap and get me out of here. You get a jack Daniels pack for your act of kindness. Thanks.

Weird? No, Stupid? Yes. But, try it out and tell me if it works!! :)