If only...

Today is a good day. A day to remember. I attended my first class which eventually turned out to be the last of the 20 classes scheduled for the subject (Though the attendance register says i missed none). I see a new face, an young and energetic fella in his mid 30's, dressed up pretty formally all excited to take the class surrounded by a small bunch of poor souls begging for that extra attendace. This guy is supposedly the instructor of the subject :). I felt like going upto him and say "hi,this is puneet, i've come to attend your class, u may introduce yourself very briefly and start with the class" but some how couldn't muster up the courage to do so. My favorite seat was already waiting to be occupied. The last seat in the last row. The one entity in the class i miss the most. It's been with me since my childhood. It has hidden chits for me, made creaking sounds when the prof overshot his time, managed not to break when i jumped from atop the desk, it's been with me in times good and bad. I merrily occupied it and started to read the newspaper of yesterday.

The class starts with its usual ritual.. roll call
1,2,3....
sir: 02; me: present sir (the tone is dull)
sir: 22; me: yess (finally the momentum is building up)
sir: 26; me: yes sir (the voice's flat this time)
sir: 35; me: presentt;... sir: who's 35; me(raising my hand): sir, 35.. (never mind, i'm 42)
sir: 36; me: yes sir (in a harsh tone)
sir: 42; me: present sir (moving to my left)
sir: 59; me: yes sir (occupying the empty seat on the right)
huh!! half the purpose solved... got the proxies for all my proxy buddies.

As the "innovation and creativity" class inches on, the "other half purpose" reckons.. It's a 2 minute impormptu presenation that carries a 10% weightage. My turn comes up and so does the topic "poetry"
I was like :O as soon as i heard the topic... thus i spoke
errr.. ahemm..
The noon is sultry
boring is the subject of history
Tasty is the chocolate pastry
whether this classifies as a poetry
or simply a stupid rhyming story
is still an unsloved mystery
ahem!!
while on the other hand
in a far off land
there is a certain band (of people)
who weild their poetic wand
touching several hearts at rand(om)
for them...

The concept is true
and the depth felt
the audience is you
and the complexity dealt

There is that rhyme
echoing at the right time
evoking a feeling
that keeps your heart reeling

It shall be written neither for fame
nor for rhyme
It was a mere portal
which made human expression immortal

huh! My 2-mintues are done and i come back and take my seat. The chick in black sitting next to me threw a smile and followed it up with a compliment "you were nevous". In case you were wondering what my definition of compliment is... some days back, someone famously said "An optimist receives comments as compliments" and i am an optimist :) ; so i followed it up with a scenic dream duet with the chick in black. By the time i'm out into the real world the class is over.....
-----
If you were wondering why i missed 19 opportunities of being part of such a happening class and 100's of many more other classes...
here's the reality for you
- I get caught and loose 4 attendances for marking a proxy
- I fumble and mumble and tumble and jingle for a 1 minute prepared presentation
- No chick in black, no com(pli)ment, no duet :(
::angry:: Now, tell me one reason why i should go to class ::angry::
-----

The more you think of them, the less they happen

For the past 45 minutes he hasn't changed his cross-legged, left thumb on right-toe pose. He stay as much in the same state as he was when India got it's penultimate wicket and is desperately waiting for the last bail to fall off. Another hour tick by and a few more minutes for the stalemate to take centerstage. He's nervous, he's sweating, he needs some fresh air! (or does he)... he needs India to win, he continues to sit in the same pose

For the past 3 days, he spent sleepless nights thinking of the "she" he's always thought of. He's done all sort of crazy things for her which he terms as "funny and embarasing" to his friends. He's done that willingly time and again and she's accepted them gleefully back then. she's accepted his friendship, accepted his gifts, accpted his mischief, accepted everything but him as a lover. He continues to wake through his insomnia

For the past 20 years, he spent all his life aiming to become an engineer and build a dam to his village. Despite his inadequacies coupled with poor facilities, he worked hard, real hard to move closer towards his goal. The closer he went, the more he realised the "dreamy element" of his dream. He tried real hard to convince and he failed once. He's spent all his life on this and petitioned one last time to try his luck and wait anxiously for the result. He continues to wait for his life's purpose

Just for the sake of record.....
India lost the match
she married "some one else"
The bridge was never built

Now, the underlying question is... BUT WHY??
DON'T ask me, i donno.. plz enlighten me if u know :)

The minus 2 (-2) effect:

At 16, Cesc fabregas is the youngest goalscorer for arsenal football club.
At 6, Puneet varma is the younest 3rd grader in school (or proabably the whole locality)It makes a good news item and only a good news item.

There is nothing to cheer about for being way younger than the bunch. The endless list of being the "paraolympic kid" follows:

a) Outdoor
- I used to get beaten up in every fight in the school
- My sole aim in any outdoor competition was NOT to stand first (from last)
- I celebrated when i made it into the 10-men kho kho team of our class (total strength - 11)
- I've never won any prize in any outdoor gaming event

b) Lovedoor
- Indians have this stupid notion of not falling in love with elder women (i am an indian)
- Junior and most of subjunior girls join the above cadre
- At any stage, i am always too young to crib about this to my older "still-single" classmates
- The sarcasm in "you are still a kid" is just unbearable
- My little brain is unable to comprehend the increasing levels of feminine complexity

c) Miscellaneous:
- My advice is always disposable by a single sentence "arrey.. he's a kiddo! forget what he said"
- Most of the times there is truth in the above sentence
- There is that odd feeling that lingers all the time during the ragging sessions (most of them
are 3-4 years elder to me)
- Brain is expected to work over-time to make up for the lack of experience (though it ended up in hibernation, that's a different story all together)
- People presume i'm 24 while i'm still 22 (it feels painful, especially when u claim u're still
21years, 10 months old and round it to 21)

The train

After three hours of hassles resulting from a mixture of
- ghaziabad's amazing transport system
- my own punctuality
- my superb understanding of hindi as a language
- my watch deciding to run 10 minutes late
I stand there surprised to find some jagjit singh, 42 assigned to my berth. With two minutes for the train to leave i realised that i have got upgraded to 2nd a/c (was pretty delighted) and took my berth (side lower it was)


I sit there disconnected completly from the outside world by the curtains, long and thick ones dipped in dark blue with white roses embroidered at will all over them. I sit there with my legs streched out peeping through the window, laughing at my hindi and at the past 3 hours that made me almost miss my train. The long journey, 27 hours in lenght starts ticking. I just re-check my defense against it which include a laptop, 3 india todays and a brain ever-ready to dream. I chose to dream for a start. To dream of being the producer, director, actor, lyricist, singer, cinematographer for a movie titled "say something new". As the protoganist dressed in full black jumps off the eiffel tower suddenly the curtain opens leading way to a beautiful hand that caught my gaze followed by a more beautiful face. I knew that the train halted at agra and for a moment wondered if i was staring agape at the taj. Two beautifully carved eyes stuck like pieces of art amidst the marble white of her face. They are followed down south by a beautiful long nose and a pair of small round pink lips that wrapped up the mastepiece. She looked pretty emabrassed at my gaze and i soon followed course and managed to divert my eyes off her. Both of us waited in silence, waiting for the other to talk/smile whatever. Both stood by our adamant silence as she sat in front of me cross legged peeping through the window. The train picked speed and the silence is growing dangerously silent. Barring excpetions of a few throat clearences and faked coughs there was no other sound to be heard. Finally unconsciously i started to appreciate the better beauties of the nature that lay beside the india today i was faking to have been reading. She broke the silence with her sweet voice and extended her hand as she pronouced her name. I was too dumbstruck to hear it. Struck by the sweet movements of her lips, I could not hear a word of what she's said. She waited for a response but i was long lost in her thoughts. I managed to regain my senses and introduced myself and said all sorts of pompous things which i would not have said even if i were asked to introduce myself to some mukesh ambani.

She said that she loves reading books and talked at lenght about ayn rand and sidney sheldon. With my limited acquaintance with those authors i managed to speak some no "non-sense" (or atleast i thought so). Then the topic slowly shifted to poetry (my strength) and i decided it's now or never. Armed with a few tens of poems (which lacked any form of poetic sense) my confidence boosts up, but not for long.
she: What type of poetry to u write
me: what type? (god.. i didn't know the types of poetry, i only know rhyming and non-rhyming and meaningful and meaningless... help help, F1, F1)
me: ohhh.. type... hmmmm.. not one in particular u know
she: but still u must be liking a genre right?
me: yeah.. i'd prefer romantci
she: ohh.. shakespearean or lakeside
me: hmmm... both
(i didn't know what they meant and decided i can't take this any more)
me: ok.. i don't like any type of poetry. I write poems and i write for fun. They only have a thought and an overall meaning that are in coherence with me and my mood. That's it, no genre, no inspiration. yes, i know, poetry ain't that way, but i am like this only
she: (burst into laughter as soon as she heard that from me).. we've a name for that.. that's called my-type. As a matter of fact i am also a "my-type" poetess who write just for fun and timepass but still love it more than anything else. Except for some wikipediaed info, i am an illeterate in this genres and stuff
me: (sighed in relief) haa! we've got a poetess.. great! can we have a poem.. please
she: (blushing) no.. no.. sometime later
me: sometime LATER, later, later (kept repeating the word with a hint of sarcasm)
she: ok.. ok.. one of them

I dream of a song
a song with a meaning
a song that carries a feeling
I dream of a song
a song of love
a song that's about you
I dream of a song
a song in the rain
a song that takes away a pain
I dream of a song
a song of the farewell kiss
a song on how i much i miss (you)
I dream of a song
a song of life
a song on us
I DREAM...
(All the time the poet inside me is slowly dying of inferiority complex and by the end the funeral cermony is long back completed). I stare at her with an emotion that's a mixture of awe, envy and just everything.

Some-how, just some-how i appreciated her whole heartedly (i couldn't have done this to any other poet) and i stare at her with a wide smile that made her blush further. Then she asked me for a poem but i couldn't recall any of the "good ones" partly for fear of looking stupid, partly as i was yet to come out of the surprise and delight i just experienced.

she: now, the my-type poet.. your turn!!
me: u make me feel envious of you and feel down and out.. i can't with a smile
she: don't try to run away! i won't let you (signalling that she'dnt)
me: k.. since english poetry is already covered, i'll say one in telugu
ninnu parichayam chesindhi naa chelli
aa taruvtha kanapadledhu nuvvu mallee
vethikaanu nee kosam prathi galli
aarateesanu andarini gilli gilli
chivaraku deeni talli
adhe telugu cinemaa story mallee
settle ayyindhi nee pelli
naa gunde talla dilli
manasu sanna gilli
aina attend ayya nee pelli
endukante
raadhu kadhaa malli
free gaa oka killi
(This was a rhyming poem about a lover attending his lover's marriage for the sake of eating a pawn). Absolutely senseless, but amazing rhyming!!
I cursed my choice of poem selection as her eyes grew wide and wide and the smile extended from the left to the right ear. She suddenly burst into a heavy laughter that lasted long enough for me to join her in the act of laugh riot.
A few strands of her silky long hair slipped over her lips as she laughed incessantly. without any answers to "why did i do", "what am i doing", "have i gone mad", i extended my hand to clear the hair off her spotless face. The magical touch of her cheeks took me off by delight and surprise. I retreated to immediate silence realising the gravity of the act. She casually ignored it and continued with her laughter.
The time of seperation has come. The train halted and i've to leave now. i refuse to accept the hard fact. I get down the train saying good bye to her and the sweet time. Just as i was to go back home i recall that i've forgot something in the train. I reboarded the train and asked her for her mobile to call my parents as they haven't yet come to recieve me. As i dialled the number, thephone rings in my pocket ;)

What can you do if....

The keyboard works awesomely wrong and you get a w++ when u type a w
(This seems a crazy case, but yes! it is a true case)
- kick it, smash it
- kiss it, cuddle it
- intoxicate it (preferably scotch if the keyboard's a costly one)
- blame it on moon (since it was vinayaka chavithi)
- add a "-" after every plus to negate the effect
- spell w as uu.. after w is double u
- go for a version fallback (w++ could have been a modified version of w like c++ for c)
- Define w in your keyboard as a static key (then it's value can't be
increased to w++)
- get w out of redcross ('+' is the symbol for red-cross and proabably w is a new volunteer wearing the badge
- Get a dozen sumos load of shouting and sword rotating rowdys from karampudi to seperate the love-struck couple w and +
- last and probably the worst of all.. call the service center

-------------------
You see a girl and you like her.. but she's french
- Grow a french beard
- Go watch french kiss (for those "who thought something else" folks, it's a romantic classic starring meg ryan)
- write your name with a dash over every e and pronouce d as dhhh
- go and say "nenu ninnu premisthunnanu".. If she asks to repeat, tell her el neno ninno el premisthunnano.. This time, just walk away.. don't wait for the reaction
- Learn to eat pasta without hand-picking out that sticky material that glues to your mouth
- just say "irava mupiambre ____".. fill ___ with whatever u want to ask her.. "irava mupambre means it's better to take" as far as my french knowledge goes :D
- get her out on a walk in the rain and write a poem on her... believe me! it works.. after all, french and drench rhyme (use wrench, bench, clench, trench in case u fall short of rhyming words :P)
- be prepared to wear 1-2" soles (average french female height exceeds the average indian male height by the number of medals india's going to get in next olympics)
- last but by far the best option, forget her and get some indian girl on track!

Another olympic gold for india... yippie!!

Hang on!! Am not another sport critic/patriotic indian celebrating Bindra's gold.
The other day i was slightly inspired seeing Usain bolt strike the track for the second time and leave everyone dumbstruck with his lighning speed. And unfortunately my dad also sees him run and sees the slight spark of inspiration in my eyes and he was like..
dad: No use sitting here and watching them. It takes years of practice to even go there.
me: Years of struggle for 20 (sry.. 19.30 seconds to be more precise!).. what a poor time sense.
dad stares angrily (he knew i would never run a sprint in olympics)
me (sitting there thinking if there's someway i can be in olympics) and suddenly this idea strikes me.
I recall the hardships i've gone through during the day
- woke up at 9 after mom splashes water on my face for the third time
- Tooth brush sits on my bedside with paste well adorned over it
- Breakfast and a bottle of water ready as soon as i come out
- As i finish my breakfast and relax, a pillow automatically covers my back and the fan starts to rotate without me even wishing for it.
- The tv switches on and the channels swap till i say "stop"
- The same cycle repeats as if it's the rule of the nature
awesome!! ladies and gentleman presenting to you youngest gold-medalist from india (@21), the reigning world record holder for the longest hibernation (9 days in december 2007) and the gold-medalist of 2008 beijing men's heavy weight lazy bugger.. "ME" :D
pour in your congratulations in the form of comments... Afterall i've struggled 21 years learning to be lazy and believe me it's super tough, but thanks to my parents, buddies and above all my lazy spirit for helping me acheive this miraculous feat. I promise that i'd never let u down and bring in more honors for me and my country in the future. Jai hind! good night!!

The one good thing i've done in my life

(In the ground)
The junior batch comes in and the much awaited ragging session, legally named as personality development program starts.
After having slogged their a***s the whole day from 5 am till 12 noon, juniors they sit in long lines shouting their serial numbers after having barely slept an hour for the past 3 days for no good reason.
(In my room)
12:00 - 12:30 The day changes, mr. sleeps starts to knock my eye-lids off balance.
12:30 - 1:00 mr. sleep could have won over me long back had it not been for the "one good thing for the life time". I lay down deep in thought (still keeping mr. sleep at bay) as my ego and alter-ego fight it out for the nth time. ego: "aah.. forget it! last year i too had the same fate, other than two odd incidents i slogged over there whole night without sleep, afterall it's fun! let's do the pdp and if not, atleast lets not spoil the fun of my batchmates"alter-ego (in a philosophical tone): "fine, if u want to forget how happy u felt when that senior rescued you and how disgusted u felt with life when u have to stay awake two nights in a row, very well! rest in peace, but u'll regret this later"
1:00 - 1:30: The last word "regret this later" is the last phrase i ever want to hear from my concscience and i heard it. Now, i've got no other option other than killing my sleep and venture out on the so-called "humanitarian cause" which i modestly call "paying back the honors to my few good seniors". Donned in a colorful tee and a faded shorts i venture out under the mask of a "harsh and demanding senior" calling people at will and taking their intros in a rather harsh demeanour.
(Back to the ground)
1:30 - 2:00: The junior in front of me looked awe struck at the sudden change in the tone. He bagan to wonder why the same senior (read me) who till a minute back was talking to him in a harsh tone asking the same stupid questions, frightening and commanding him and suddenly, as we walk a few steps away from humanity the tone has changed into a friendly one. All sorts of doubts wander through his mind. "Is this senior faking something?", "Is he going to rag me personally, that would be more hell", or just in case "Is he actually good?". As he stands there stranded and confused he hears the magical words resonate from my vocal chords."Do you want to go and sleep"
2:00 - 2:30: I see the look in his face. His eyes speak for themselves. Though "thank you sir" is the only word that's uttered, i could hear lot more of what his eyes has spoken en route our way to the hostel where he was safely dropped near his lobby.List of few un-uttered phrases"aah.. finally i get some sleep""why ain't every senior like this""huh... at last""Thank god! not another sleepless night"
2:30 - 3:00: One of my batchmates holds me and accuses me of saving the juniors from the pdp's
ba#1: so.. you're spoiling the fun
me: heh! (and try to walk away)
ba#1: This is very bad. Do you know that you are actually spoiling them by not letting them interact
me: Dude! Tell me the names of five seniors out of the 100 odd over there who are actually there to enlighten the juniors
ba#1: (followed by a prolonged silence) but still they can clear their doubts and interact with thier batchmates
me: As far as clearing the doubts and interactions are concerned, they have got a whole year to do that and i hope you haven't forgotten the fact that you and I were amongst those umpteen numbers who cribbed day and night about this pdp and were disgusted with life and career choice.
Tell me one thing very frankly, do you see anything other than sadistic pleasure and female despotism in these sessions
ba#1: despotism?
me: hehe.. self-coined term for those who are really desperate to have a girl/boy friend
ba#1: ha ha ha.. true dude! but still...
me: (interrrupting) there are not stills and poses here... Are you joining me or not

And hence the army rose to strenghts.
May be the 10 odd spartans ain't enough to rescue the whole suffering bunch. But they sure would make a difference.
May be they could barely manage to let only a few tens get their rightful sleep when they actually needed it. But they gave the spirit and inspiration.
May be they saved them only once during the whole week. But they passed on the feeling of indebtedness.

Index

The last few days experienced a sudden burst of "blogthusiasm" (self-coined term that was derived from linear addition and midular substraction of blog + enthusiasm) thereby resulting in close to 10 posts in half as many days. The next few days, i would be blogbernating (again self-coined term derived from linear addition and midular substraction of blog + hibernating)

so.. this post (poem) is an attempt to create an index (not exactly), or what can be termed as a brief description of what can be expected out of all the blogs that are displayed in this page.

------------------------------------------------------
Suddenly, the rhyme is out of the life
as philosophical prose took center stage
ideas and thoughts are still ripe
as i continue to explore the confusing maze

Disturbed sleeps filled with red ants
Nights spent without work, without sleep
Disturbed dreams full of complaints and rants
childhood stories that revolved around the toy jeep

Some nostalgia, some dedications
some rings and roses for the occasion
Few lines that manage to rhyme
Few blogs whose copyrights i proudly claim

enjoy!! :-)

A lifetime's wait!!

"Ye vayasulo mucchata aa vayasulone teerchukovaali" goes a famous telugu saying which translates to "You have enjoy each of the phases in your life only while you are in it"

Till a few days back, i still believed i'm kiddish enough to realise those long-back dreamt, still-remembered childhood dreams. One of my female friends recently said "You are still a kid!" :P and this saying made me believe that i'm still a kid.
But recently, very recently i came to know that relatives in my village have started talking of my marriage.
I was like "C'mon, child marriage is illegal.. You semi-educated, brainless, marriage hurried **** *********, how can you marry me off at such a tender age".
slowly, the hair over my head started it's journey down west
Kids in the neighborhood started addressing me as "uncle"

Now i'm really scared that i'm getting older (orkut shows i'm 21! :O) as the time ticks! and i might just get old before realizing the long-dreamt, still-remembered childhood dreams.

so... i'm archiving my wishes if in case, just in case i couldn't relish them in this life, i can refer to them in my next life which probably would be a virtual one where people marry on shaadi.com by clicking the button "MARRY NOW" and have children by clicking on ad that reads "Want a smart, cute baby who goes on to become chief scientist in NASA and marries miss norway?
"CLICK HERE"

whatever.. here's the list of things of long-dreamt, still-remembered dreams!

- Wear a police uniform (complete with hat and belt) and tuck in auto-reload 34.4 muscle .22 glock commando (never mind, it's sold during srinamanavami in our village for rs.10 and is nick named erra police gun)

- Go to the tuition (Every kid in the neighborhood takes the lamp (thanks to the 14hr/day powercuts) and goes to the tuitions. As an outsider i always believed and still believe that i'm missing out on all the fun and i still don't know the fact that they're actually slogging in there

- Propose to my maths teacher
I am smart,
she is hot,
what else do you want

- Race the car with a bicycle
I still remember the summer afternoon when the cyclewallah overtook our school van and managed to keep the lead over a strech of 7km highway en route my home to school. That day on he was my hero and i dreamt of only one thing day in and day out. I saved the 100 bucks given by my grandmother for diwali to buy a new "gear cycle" (brand didn't really matter) to defeat the honda city of my neighboring uncle.

- Kick the bheemboy of our class
There is this guy named bheemboy who used to bully us all the time and once he won a battle of 1 vs 11 where he's pitted against the rest of the class. Since then i started eating pizzas, chicken, prawns and grown so huge so that i could kick him strongly one day.

- score 1506 (251) 0*4, 251*6 in an ODI
I didn't knew that there was a no-ball and i could score runs in it. so 1506 or what i call at heptaple triple century is what i've always dreamt of and is the reason why i still play cricket at 2A.M

Sleep-breakers

Imagine... Just imagine

- You are a "slow-sleeper" (which supposedly is the term for a person who, once woken up, takes good amount of time.. say 10-30 min to get back to sleep)
- You've just slogged in the office for 10 hours
- You go to bed at 10P.M since you had a bad sleep last night and are in need of a real sound sleep
- Some past/present/future love-stories disturb you and keep you awake for 2 hours in such a sleepy situation
- You sleep late in the night (say 12 mid-night)
- At 1A.M there's a call from your family/friend inquiring something
- At 2A.M there's a phone call from your mobile provider offering caller tunes at Rs. 50/- and u've just got disturbed half-an-hour back by a message that reads the same
- At 2:30A.M a red-ant bites your hand and the hand swells
-At 3A.M scores of red-ants explore through your head and hair biting at will
- 3A.M - 5A.m: You try in vain to hush away the ants and they follow you like the hutch dog. You turn to the other side of the bed, clean the bedsheet, whatever, in 10-15 min they're all over your head, hairs and everywhere out of nowhere.
- 5A.M: you give up fighting with them and sit on the bed thinking what to do to realize that you've got an important presentation today
- 5:30A.M: you are about to sleep just when the ant hoards are back to business

Imagine this happening everyday for the past 2 weeks
Imagine a time-line that's 6 hours ahead of the one mentioned.
Imagine all this after slogging in the night shift

Imagine ME!!!

Strange feelings!

I come back from office at 4 A.M (yes A.M it is..) and think..
"oooh.. what's this strange feeling in my head. Man that girl in white has made me crazy. My head is probably wandering all around her. It feels strange, blank! huh! what has she done to me...."
finally i get the answer,
Idiot! This lady in white is called sleep... now go to bed
zzzzzzzzzzz

Carrying the expression of LOVE

Probably the most incompetent person to speak about this topic. But this' out in a burst of romanticism. You are welcome to read but cautioned not to follow for these are the advices of a perfect noob in this sector. :)

How to express your love to your beloved!!!

Analogies:

- Her milky white skin glitters like a star in the darkness of the night
- Love is the bridge between two souls
- The early sun smiles like the blossoming flower
- kindness, as vast as the sea; beauty, as bright as full moon; walk, As nimble as a swan;

Using analogies is the best way to make her realize she is your world and in everything you see (the night, the bridge, the flower, the moon) you see her, and what else does a girl want...

Contradictions:

- I wait in the garden in the middle of the desert
- I see the darkness and hear the silence
- Happiness and sadness grab both of my arms
- She is a happy pain for me

confusing! delighting! and still confusing! yes, the confusion that lies in them forces to think deep into what's said and hence help her to see the inner meaning of what you mean! Awesome way to express your feelings.

Poetry:

- she's a breathtaking beauty
she's never hasty
at times, she's a bit naughty
in short, she's my deity

It rhymes, and the rhymes go straight into her heart and make an impression deep inside it.


Sentiment (that's never meant):

- I'll die without you
- For you, i'll do anything
- I can't feel/see anything in your presence

One irreparable damage the serials have done. When they can't hear these dialogues on the idiot-box they want to hear them from your vocal chords. All the parties involved (you, she and the dialogue) knew that nothing was ever meant but it still sounds like music to her ears.

more headers coming up.. have to leave now.. will update soon!

A dedication to the dude...

'Only one sweet character in this whole world finds relevance to the character and or incidents mentioned here and that character must be glad that he/she's getting world-famous now :) ; If any other characters too due to some reasons, factual or fictional, find little, some or complete relevance with the character, incidents mentioned here, it is by now clear that you are from a parallel universe for there can be only one dude in a universe and that is our dude!!

The "dude", the protagonist of this post is a concept king. When he's bored, he gets involved in a crazy concept and acts with the smartest (read as shittiest :P) logic of all times... here are a few samples

concept of cold-mind
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" said someone, a century back
"shivering is in the mind of the shiverer" said our dude, a year back;
when a person feels cold, it's not the environment that's actually turned cold, but his mind which for all its sins starts to feel the cold and starts to shiver. If you stop thinking that it's actually cold outside, you feel warm and comfortable. Unbelievable logic! Believe it! i personally tried it during a trip to Simla at -10 degree temperatures and it worked wonders. I almost froze off into an ice-man before i realized the cold-truth

concept of childhood sweet-heart
Manasantha nuvve, potugaadi poem, dude's love story... what's common in all this!
Long-back happened, Long-cherished, Never-forgotten, Still-in-love childhood love stories with the same happy ending!
Who said movies and reality are different. Atleast for some, the movie stories and poem dedications are based on their life stories and these people help maintain such sweet concepts in good shape. Lucky you! you rock dude.

concept of a fake-high
We've heard of fake-votes, fake-org*s, fake-notes, fake marriages etc., etc.,
Ever heard of a fake-high? Our dude can produce that in a jiffy. He drinks with half-a-dozen of his friends and after two pegs, two of his peg-mates are already in a state of flotation alias high. So our dude thinks that if he delays his high for long, others might think that there's some problem with the genetic engineering inside his body and it needs some structural restructuring. Whatever!. so our dude starts acting as if he's on a high. He stands up, falls on the ground, kisses mother earth, talks shit, acts shit and behaves shit-headdish. Next day he comes up and utters in my ear in a low-voice 'That was a faked-high'. I instantly reply with a looks which meant "Everyone knew that :P"

concept of confusing the confused
"Erra lorry, Nalla Lorry, Tella Lorry"... Try repeating these for 10 times in a row.. i'm pretty sure u'll mess up with words. These tongue-twisters are fun.
But there are some advance versions of these tongue-twisters called brain-twisters (very different from brainteasers) which our dude has mastered.
"Nee lanti pani paata leni valla pani paata lenu panulu cheyyataaniki nenu pani paata lekundaa vunnananukunnava" which translates into something like "Do you think i have no work to do the work of you people with no work who do no work" (this line misses the punch in the original line) which further translates into "@#$%@#&@#$%@#$%@#$%" when interpreted by the mind.
He's one confused soul trying in a confused manner to confuse the other non-confused souls and ends up confusing himself further! A confusing logic from a confused soul. Now stop getting confused :)


concept of wishing theorems
"Give respect and take respect" said once an old man with gray hair.
And our dude is a staunchent follower of this mantra. He goes to the extent of wishing the theorems and algorithms in text book before exams as he expects them to do him favors during exams. While going through them, every now and then he raises his eyebrows wishing it "hey recursive algorithm, how do you do" or "hi, NP is a subset of P, long time, no see.. where have u been" etc., etc., and he says that they do good for him in exams. Splendid, studious, stupendous... or is that just SIMPLY STUPID? :p

The great indian middle class marriage - 3R's

Outcome of yet another "crappy" discussion...
ps: Certain biases would be clearly evident... This is not a philosophical analysis, it's just a time-pass... so u're expected to do the same while reading this...
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Who is better off as a couple
a) A rich couple
b) A middle-class couple
c) A poor couple
The right answer is: d) none
But there are certain natural forces forced upon us wherein coupling is a part of the torture god's blessed mankind with... Let's quickly analyze who enjoys this torture the most with respect to the 3R's that're closely associated with couples. Ring, romance and restaurants

Ring: A medium that carries the expression of love

A rich couple: super-posh diamond ring: Beautiful, Precious, Captivating, Everlasting
The wife sees the ring and says "Oh! it's so beautiful, i love this"
If the ring in itself is being more beautiful, more precious and more captivating than their marriage, it's the ring that's of concern and not the marriage. Medium surpasses the expression

A middle-class couple: Plain gold with little or no extras: Memorable, symbolic, senti'mental'
The wife sees the ring and says "i love you dear"
The ring here is the hard-work of small sacrifices done by her husband over the past couple of months and it carries his message of love towards her in a perfect manner

A poor couple: A copper/brass ring with their names written on it: Shabby, non-lusturous, waste of money
The wife sees the ring and says "I asked you to get rice, now how r u going to feed the starving children". feel sorry for them! when life's all about fighting to stay alive in the race there's no reason to celebrate the win!
The expression fails to flow through the medium

Romance:

A rich couple: Exotic holiday at maldives, Sunbath at San marino etc., etc.,
Their idea of a happy romance is taught by books and TV channels. They fail to see that romanticity is subjective and customized. Their money and lifestyle lures them into doing such unromantic and stupid things.

A middle-class couple: Sitting together on the beach, Dinner on roof-top, Dancing together in the mid-night rain
The idea of romance is nurtured by their own fantasies and few cine-concepts. They've just enough money to replicate a setting and the rest is left for the mind to romanticize it to the max.

A poor couple: Having a good dinner, going to the local market etc., etc.,
The idea of romance arouses the fear of the future. "So far so good, but what do i do tomorrow." There's been a constant fear of the tomorrow that swallows the pleasentaries of the romance.

Restaruants:

A rich couple: They go to a nice restaurant, pull the chair back by holding it with the index, thumb and middle finger of the left hand, seat in an 80 degree angle, pull back the chair in two uniform swings, pick the napkin with index finger and thumb of the right hand and place it carefully on their lap. huh! i would starve to death rather than follow this schedule... and wait! the real thing starts here. The waiter appears.... husband likes macaronni with some pepperoni and bonguroni. Wife loves green salad with spinach leaves and lentill roots. Both order seperately, eat seperately and leave... what did they just do... "EAT"

A middle-class couple: With the savings of the week, they go to a decent place to dine and the waiter appears. Husband like chicken 65, wife likes chilly prawns (very spicy). They've finances for one starter and the sacrifice season starts. Wife sacrifices her prawns to her husband's chicken and husband reciprocates it by getting it done spicy. For an outsider it seems to be one spoiled up dish that fails to satisfy either. But for the husband having been touched by his wife's concern for his tastes, fails to feel the spice in the dish and the wife already being so happy for getting such a nice husband doesn't care whether it's chicken or prawns or sea-weed. what did they just do... "They had a sweet little spicy memorable experience"

A poor couple:They go to a road-side hotel where the ambiance is very bad. The food smelled burnt and tasted awful. There's been no chicken pieces to share in the chicken biryani and the veg manchurian tasted so awful that the husband ate all by himself since he didn't want his wife to taste one of the baddest things in life and the wife mistook the husband to be a glutton. All this at the expense of the money they've saved skipping lunch for the past week.... "One bad memory they'd rather not have"

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I am NOT a married person and still have a long way to go before i experience the rings, romances and restaurants and am also NOT in any hurry to experience these. Therefore, DO NOT make any stupid assumptions :P

Dream index of happiness

Brief history of "the dream"
For ages, measuring happiness has been one of the major challenges for gods. They've been drowned with requests with each devotee asking for more happiness. The gods are confused on how to distribute the limited happiness to the unlimited desires of the unlimited population. So, the gods decided on a metric to measure the happiness of a person and invented the concept of dream.
so, the gods would install this new version of dream.exe into every new human they create. This concept worked wonders for them. Though the generation, visualisation and interpretation of this concept is highly complex the crux of it and the report generated are very simple. Let's see how the dream analysis goes (in gods own words)

case 1: You wake up from the dream and think.. "oh man! what a dream, aaah... i wish i could continue this dream" and slip back into the dreams with a hope to continue and 'holy fuck! the dream continues....'

analysis: dude! your life can't get any better... you are now in the best phase of your life and cling on to this phase as long as you can.. make minimum or no changes to it becoz believe me! any change would only make your life worse... you have all the free time with you, all the spirits on the high, angels on the song, sexy girl friends on the bed, dads bank balance in crores, class toppers without studying and what not... never ever ask for more... your life is one happy dream!! stay in it the way you are! To be frank, at times, we gods envy you!

case 2: You wake up from the dream and think... "aaah.. nice dream!, ok.. nice start for the day!"

analysis: You are the good definition of a happy life. you have got most of what you've dreamt of and what you've prayed for. you've got a nice job, decent acads, good-looking girl friends, nice restaurants to eat, a pulsar to commute... you just don't ask for more but secretly in your closet pray for a better job, a honda city a sexy chick etc., and we gods generally put your requests under spam filter

case 3: You wake up from the dream and think... "i guess the dream was good... but, what was the dream.. i just could not recall it"
analysis: Life's slightly going on the bad side of the road, but you revel in the sight of the good side of it. You live with aims, aspirations, dreams to realise, work hard, over perform, work over time, say "no time dear" to your gurlie, manage to be the pillion rider, watch a movie every now and then to escape from the reality and pray for better comforts in life. Your prayers are justified and we gods make a "pareto analysis" and realise 20% of your dreams that give you 80% happiness

case 4: You wake up from the dream and think... "These days i don't get any dreams... what's wrong with this bed"
analysis: Idiot! there is nothing wrong with the bed. Everything's wrong with your life. you are slipping into the abyss' of sorrows. Now rush immediately to a temple/mosque/church/watever nearby and pray. These are the people still searching for a job, searching for a girl friend, day-dreaming past their stop in the local train, lying at home to get money, free-riding the parties and talking to themselves. They want an immediate transition from an auto-puller to a merc owner, from a kite-flier to an astronaut. Their requests and dreams are too exorbiant which pisses us and therefore we might just give them enuf to push them up to those of type 3. if you can remeber the quote "Athigaa asapade magavadu, athigaa avesapadey adadhi sukhapadinattu charithralo ledhu" which tranlates to "A man who wishes for more and an woman who is aggresssive is never happy throughout history" and we gods created this history!

case 5: You wake up from your dream and think.. "Fuck! what kind of a dream was that.. man, i can't sleep with such dreams.. shit!"
analysis: you are one fucked up soul, trapped in some fucked up circumstances in some fucked up place in this world. we gods can do nothing to get you out of this mess. Do something on your own (if you can) and switch to the above level and then we can do something. otherwise! commit suicide and come here. sorry boss! we just can't help you
ps: we gods never use the f-word so frequently in general, but this is one fucked up case


conclusion: The above five case can happen to any person at any time at any phase of his life and they keep on changing from one phase to another.
I've been like in 3 out of 5 cases in the last one year

Whatever, finally i've got a reason to praise the gods... Amazing index dudes... you rock!!

Defining despotism (the counter-strike way)

"The world is full of despos, despos and more despos" - A despo :P

I am talking about those suresh's, rahul's and chris's who think/dream/talk/read/write/see/hear/act/behave/joke/sense girls, girls and only girls...
Being more of a CS despo than a suresh/rahul/chris kinda despo i'd love to compare these people with some of the guns that we guys have. This comparision's gonna be the way "the gun that suits each kind of despo"..
NO prior CS knowledge?
skip this post
if you know that CS is counter strike and not computer science?
-live!!! live!!! live!!!-


Schmidt scout: My favourite gun and my type of despos :P... Too shameless to confess, but true! These are the good guys who just play for the love of the game. They think that they are royal snipers despite their muscle and mental prowess being quite limited. They don't change their persona for a few targets. They just want some one like them to closely pass their way so that they could fire into their hearts. They camp at a nice place, carefully choose their targets and double zoom to concentrate on one target at a time and they believe in their inexisting abilities to do so; therefore end up missing the target that was taken away by one or the other types which are yet to be explained! real "idiots" man!

Machine gun: These are exactly the suresh/rahul/chris types... These are generally found all around the place. Any where in this world, out of the next 5 "other sexes" you encounter, 4 of them are machine guns... These guys have extraordinary vision and terriffic capabilities. They just spam around all their "show offable" traits and for sure, for sure they'll get a good number of targets. The irony in this case is that every target believes that the "machine gunner" didn't spam despite seeing the machine gun in his hand.. As soon as the round is over, these guys start up respamming and this vicious cycle continues. real despos man!

Glock: These are the people who have nothing in them, but still want to heart-shot every woman. It's ok to use a glock in round1 and being a glock in class 10, but when everyone's using magnum's and maverick's, these people still run around the arena's with glocks only to be ignored by team-mates and opponents alike! poor chaps..Alas! god bless their glocks! :P

Deagle: These are the guys who have amazing talent, but this is not just their game, they knew they can take their targets down if they back their deagle with a magnum, but they just don't give a damn!! cool guys these.. real cool maan!

Mavericks and AK's: If 4 out of 5 are machine guns, these constitute the remaining one out of 5. These are the "boy in the neighborhoods" who concentrate real hard on few school/college/neighborhood long time sweethearts and generally end up realising their dreams. "limited prowess, limited but multiple targets, sheer hard work" is their motto...man, i love their love-stories!! :D

Magnum Sniper Rifle: Make way! the gods have arrived... The most powerful/sexy/intellectual genius'. Yes, they are the gods and make their way from any distance. Amazing capabilities, sexy targets and bang! they got them... I pray them boss! pray them!! (and secretly dream to own a magnum one day)

--------------------- End of round -------------------
--------------- Now, which gun's you?? ---------------

Time for some (more) nostalgia [The mastercard way]

mmmuuaaaah :P
miss you all :)

________'s that are always in shortage (and their consequences)

- Change with the bus conductor at early morning 5'o clock
(have to get down the bus and wait for another 20min for a bus with a conductor having enuf change for a 20 rupee note)

- girls in our cabin (this is a case of "absolute drought").. so this has to be rephrased as girls in our office

(liked only one, took one month to realise that she has a twin sister (younger version) working in the same company, who incidentally is interested in me, while i am interested in the elder version.. ended up complicating my life more than a normal bolly/tolly wood movie)

- Time to have breakfast or lunch or either one of them..
(It's been exactly a month since i had breakfast or lunch or either during a week day... sleeping at 7 A.M, waking at 5 P.M)

- Methods to waste time when it's abundant

- Time to waste when there are abundant ways

- Complex logics when they are actually needed

- Sensible people when logics get complex

- Words and or flow when i start to blog

- Comments after i have posted my blog

Real love letter to a virtual lover...

Life's crawling at the pace of a bullock cart
till the day my poem touched your heart
oh! my love, my dearest sweetheart
ours is the deepest of loves and us no one can part

Life's as passive as the booking counter queue
till i realized that my dream girl's you
Oh! my love, my gorgeous beau
Ours is the strongest bond sealed with love

Life's dead like the silence at midnight
till u flashed into it with a love light
and filled it with happiness so bright
from now on there is no more need for me to diet
which i've been doing to get the one that suits me right

Life's numb like the linkin park song
till this moment, which i waited for so long
to give away my heart to where it belong
now i realised that waiting for long is not wrong
as waiting only makes the love-bond strong
but i beg of you, please don't prolong

Waiting for bus @ 5 A.M

I stand there waiting for the bus
humming an old song of rasmus
I stand there in a formal dress
that didn't even have a proper press

I stand there in the mid of the night
putting up with sleep a hard fight
I stand there carrying all my extra weight
which stays despite my inconsistent diet

I stand there thinking of the day
and the future plans for this may
I stand there dreaming of my pay
that'd at least cover expenses on my way

I stand there amidst the frightening dog's bark
after doing a hard night's work
I stand there after working like a clerk
without receiving the normal perk

Then i take the bus, come back home, write this and sleep
(Too sleepy to get the above statement rhyming to give the finishing touch ... adjust naaa)

In search of lazieness

The blog below this, titled "In search of happieness" sounded too philosophical from some cartoon like me.. so this one's an attempt to mock my own philosophy in my own lazy way..
readers are advised to read this blog after reading the one below, titled "In search of happieness"


One day, i wake up to find myself still sleepy
eyes continue to burn and body feels restless
i fail to see my image in the mirror
and i loathe to stay awake in this dynamic reality

It was a very happy virtuality till an hour back
suddenly there's sunlight and activity all around
as i am kicked out of my great deep sleep
i venture out in search of it's close substitute

i sit there on the same bed on which i slept
motionless, speechless and emotionless
some would say that i am a big fat ass
while others would praise me as cool and calm

i continue to sit there on my bed with a sleepy brain
amongst the stacked piles of clothes
and the racks of books waiting to be opened
i see the same people and the same room all the time

without any movement and without any work
i sit there on the bed and watch as people come and go
people come, does their daily activities and go back
the cycle of daily chores that always repeats

sorry guyses and galses... i am too lazie to continue any further with this..
i say to all of you, lazieness is a great virtue, idiot!! never ever shun it ;)

In search of happieness

One day i woke up to find myself totally lost
something seems to be different from yesterday
i see that the face in the mirror is not mine
i come to know that the world has changed

it was a very happy world till yesterday
suddenly there's darkness all over
i venture out in search of happieness
a long odyssey in search of yesterday's utopia

I go to every person whom i had known
inquiring if they had seen where the world has gone
some would say that time has abducted it
while other's would laugh off as if nothing has happened

I continue to search in the dark with a ray of hope
i search amongst the stacked piles of memories
and within the racks of the future plans
i go to new places and ask strange questions

without an answer and without much hope left
i sit there on a beach and watch the waves rise and fall
each wave rises to the peak and crashes to the shore
it's the natural cycle of ups and downs that repeats

i wonder if the waves had an answer to my question
may be it's the cycle of the world that changes
but the essence of happieness in it remains the same
we are happy one day and sad the next day

it's the natural cycle that ought to repeat
failing to rise back from sorrows drowns you in the depths
the depths of gloom, sorrow and darkness
the wave inspired a new life of happieness

it's the same world now, the same happy world
everything's the same, the memories, the present, the future
everything's bright and shiny again today
happieness is just the perspective, idiot!!

exam blues.. from nursery to mba

1) puneet, puneet, yes papa
reading for exams, no papa
portion finished, no papa
open your book, ha ha ha
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2) exam syllabus:
1,2 are not taught to you
3,4 are like a folklore
5,6 i need some one to fix
7,8 i can't finish this night
9,10 i will copy from alan
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3) exam, exam go away
don't come again another day
mighty puneet wants to hibernate
exam, exam go away

Valentine day blues...

I dream with my eyes wide open
My heart beats faster in anticipation
My lips tremble with pessimism
My ears hear an inexistent music
as i feel the happiness all around me


suddenly, I wake up without willing to
My heart forgets its beat
the tremble is no more on the lips
and the surroundings are full of silence
and i oppose to accept to face the reality
The reality of coming out of a dream
the reality of being a loner
The reality of me as only me without you

for you are just a mirage
who just plays hide and seek with me
who fails to see my heart

for in your company is
when i could fly by a merry flight round the world
and when i would walk the happy mile

for you are just a dream
a happy dream, a very happy dream
a dream that i never wanted to end

for you are the reason
why my heart continues to find its rhythm
and why the sun continues to shine in the east for me

for you are a dreamland
where i have been a wanderer day and night
where the bridge to utopia is built

for you are my life
which is void till yesterday
which has a new meaning after several years of existence

the hibernation continues....

The poet inside me just woke up after a long spell of hibernation, penned some rhyming crap (as usual) and went back into hibernation (again!!)

It's all about mastering the art
of sleeping the day in and out
every work you'd gleefully dart
just to have that extra sleepy bout

vedas talk about the moksha state
where u'd be the detached being
hibernation would cause you the same fate
as it means sleeping sleeping and only sleeping

forgotten were the schedules
and the unavoidable commitments
as you dream of sitting in the rocky dunes
scribbing a poem or two over the parchments

forget the v and e assignment
at max would be lost a mark and a grade
more luxurious would be the bed confinement
for sleep, marks and grades can be an easy trade

soon u'd wake up under the influences
of having felt over-abundant joy and mirth,
having just experienced the greatest of confluences
and having created the anamonly of moksha and rebirth

The memory collector

went to college for our convocation... felt #@$%!@#%^&#!@#$% that i was missing the good old days....

The auto started off with a "duk... tuk.. putuk... duk.. duk" sound. As the driver was about to move on, i halted him... "bhayya ek minute", i got out of the auto took out my phone, took one last pic of my college, a tear from the left eye almost spoiled the display on the phone and the auto moved. As we reached ellis bridge (a place mid-way) between our college and railway station, i recalled the day when we left the college, the day when i finally broke down into tears after trying desperately for half an hour to control them and consoled others (the first, last and probably the only time i had to cry at daiict). There were other times when i dropped a tear or two... that was when i was applauded like crazy for saving a penalty against seniors, when we made the dobbudu video etc., ... but those were tears of happiness and delight, now i cried because i am afraid, i am scared, i am pessimistic.afraid, scared and pessimistic that nothing on this earth, ever could be even close to as good as it was in daiict. Just the day before leaving i went into my old room. No one was inside it and the room was wide open. I went inside and was shocked to see my room so clean. It was never used to be so clean. I could hear my room say "puneet, i miss u, i miss your mismanagment, i miss the long sollu sessions, i miss the gaming nightouts, i miss the hohohohoho laughs, i miss the week long hibernations". I silently replied "me, too" and then slept on my ex-bed. It felt so good. i tried to capture the feelings of comfort, happiness, drowsiness i felt for four years on that very bed in a photo as i slept on my bed but only the chair and table could be captured while the feeling of nostalgia is the only thing that remains with me... and it remains forever. As they say "old habits die hard", i forgot my phone under the bed and only after 2 hours did i realise that... i silently laughed at myself, recalled the good old days when i misplaced my phone under my bed every now and then and then silently moved on with life. I am forced to. Now i lay on my new bed with a thicker blanket but the old comfort was missing. My taste buds could still feel the taste of chicken lollipop in alpha and i can still smell the nauseating snakey's room and hear the hohohoho laugh of taraka. But i knew all this is but virtual reality and some day i have to come out of the into the present real world. i don't want to come.. but i have to and i did come back to reality!! huh!!